Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Addictions...


It's addicting.

This is addicting.  Blogging.

Even if it is one of the most duplicitous things I have ever done... To clarify, as my grandma would say, "You're talking out of both sides of your face."  Blogging is an art.  It is an interesting way to see how much you can say - can reveal about yourself, without really revealing anything at all.  

It's an illusion.  And yes, there is nothing behind the curtain.

Facebook is also addicting.
Talking to people I haven't seen in 15+ years.

Talking.

Sometimes I think that I blog the same way I talk.  I don't really ever tell anyone anything.  Unless I've been drinking, then I'll try to explain to you how my grudge against the world really isn't weird or ill-gotten.

I love and hate equally.  

Anyway, I posted this think on Facebook he other day - 25 things about me - and since then I find that I keep listing more and more things "about me" in my head.  Especially when I'm feeding Xander.  I'll list things I like or dislike - things I'm proud of - things I'm not proud of.  
I am happy to report that list is a rather short one.
I'm a pretty straight forward person and I don't like having lots of baggage, or should I say UNNEEDED baggage in my life.  I'm 33, there is no way to just avoid baggage all together.

I don't like surprises, so when I meet people I pretty much just put it out there.
And by surprises I mean the ninja drama sneak attack - I don't by any means, mean gifts.  Send me flowers!  I'd love it.  Seems the only time I get flowers is if something has gone drastically wrong in life - death or a rejection letter... 

I figure life like this - say what you mean, mean what you say.  Don't be coy and I can't read minds, plus I'd never want to.  If you want something, ask me - 9 out of 10 times I'll probably say yes, unless you're asking for something ridiculous.

I don't care for games...

But anyway - the 25 things... the list keeps going and going so I thought I'd post 25 more... (even thought I have 26)  and here you go...

1.  When I was a little girl I was super pissed that I wasn't a little boy.  I remember yelling at God and asking what I had done wrong.  And in the summer of 1987, when I "became a woman" I cried because I knew at that moment, my life, was officially over. 

2.  I started writing when I was 7 but wanted to be a pilot more than a writer.  My girlfriends had posters of boys on their walls, I did too - Christian Slater and NKOTB - but the rest of my walls were covered with picture of jets.  The SR-71 Blackbird is still my favorite plane and I think the Stealth Bomber is evil for replacing it.

3.  The first boy I kissed I dated on and off until I was out of high school  The first time we "dated" I was in 3rd grade.  The first kiss also happened in '87.

4.  Every time I watch PJ Hogan's version of Peter Pan I cry when Peter thinks Wendy doesn't love him and when Tink dies.  I also cry every time I watch the remake of The Little Princess, the scene when the police come to take her away and she trying to run away and her father is down stairs but he still has amnesia... every time.

5.  Every time I have ever played a show I get completely OCD because of nerves.  I'll have to walk into the bathroom and repeat something over and over until I can go on stage.
The phrase was different at each show.

6.  I'm happier when I workout.  

7.  When I was pregnant I became obsessed with tights, thigh highs, socks and shoes because they fit the only part of my body that didn't become... large...

8.  I also have an obsession with frilly girly underthings that only my hubby can see.

9.  By the time I was in my 20s I came to terms with being a girl.  They're called boobs and they get me free drinks.

10.   Anytime I go drinking I have a new friend by the time we leave the bar.  I pretty much can talk to anyone, especially when I'm liquored up.

11.  The first time I met my husband he made me so nervous by just standing next to me I had to go into my office (I was at work) to get away from him.  He's only one of two people that can do that to me, he's also one of the only people that can make me blush.

12.  My eyes change color with my mood.  If they're really green it means I'm either really, really happy or really, really pissed.  If they're brown, I'm mellow or depressed.

13.  I've always gotten straight A's in math and science and have failed almost every English class I've been in. 

14.  I love classical literature.  Some of my favorite authors are Gustav Flaubert, Alexander Dumas and Anton Chekhov, but if you ask me about reading I'll only name off contemporary authors like Charles Bukowski, Lorrie Moore and J.K. Rowling.  Oh and I think the Da Vinci Code was a great concept but a poorly written book, and that Ender's Game is one of the best books ever written - I've read it over 20 times.

15.  I love sex.  I think if more people did everyone would be much more relaxed and a hell of a lot happier.

16.  I can be a bit of a snob and I'm proud of it because I think everyone can - I'm just willing to admit it.

17.  I like gaming and I plan on running a campaign later this summer.

18.  I have a lot of crushes and the list includes both males and female even though I'm straighter than the day is long.  And I've had fun dreams about Batman - my ultimate boyfriend.

19.  I sing every single day.

20.  I love all Asian History - especially Russia and China

21.  When I was 20 I convinced a friend of mine that we should join a carnival.  They wouldn't hire us because they though we were dating.
My dreams of being a carni - FOILED!!

22.  I LOVE carnivals but hate the circus

23.  I've been to Coney Island and my next goal is Rye Park N. J.  Because of Big and the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machine

24.  I love useless knowledge

25.  I have a lot of weird beliefs including reincarnation and ghosts, both stem out of bizarre experiences I have had...

And now!  Yoga...

Have a great night!

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