Friday, January 30, 2009

I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul...


I want you to notice.  When I'm not around.  You're so fucking special.  I wish I were special...

"Creep" by Radiohead 

Love that song.  Reminds me of being in my late teens.
It also reminds me of the husband.  Radiohead was our first concert.
Blossom, the summer/fall of 01.  We had lawn seats Thom Yorke was not even an inch tall from where we sat - but they played Creep as an encore.

I remember at one point we had been arguing something.  I don't remember what it was, all I do remember is that I didn't agree with the husband so I grabbed him and kissed him.

We were applauded by the people next to us.

He was taken so off guard that the argument was over.  I wish that still worked.
Not so much.  ;)

Now I just sigh heavily and walk into the other room.  We don't really fight.  I mean, we don't agree on everything - but we've had two big fights in the nearly 8 years we've been together.  So few I remember the dates: May 15 2002 and April 26 2007
I can't remember family members birthdays.  But THAT I remember.  HA!

I tend to mark my life with music.  It started when I began using music when I wrote.  I'll put together a soundtrack of sorts and when I write I'll listen to it so much that it kinda triggers my thought process.  To this day when I hear Rilo Kiley's "Take offs and landings" I think of a 16 year old runaway in 70's NYC.  

Music.

I hung out with my drummer boy today - we discussed how much we miss our little band... it'll be a year on the 9th - the next day I found out I was preggers with the Binkerton.  I was all about playing shows when I was pregnant - I thought it would be rather funny to see a big old pregnant lady up on stage singing with a guitar strapped across her belly... that never happened.  I'm sure it's for the best.  I try never to play shows totally sober - and you can see how those two wouldn't have mixed!  

"Headlining tonight!  An irresponsible drunk pregnant lady AND A.D.D!"  
(happiness is a warm gun... bang, bang... shoot, shoot)

We, me and drummer boy, keep discussing starting a new band but the timing is just off... add to that this is the most creative I am these days.  Yes, I do write some other stuff, but none of its is music.  So I think - cover band!  Karaoke...?
We shall see!  Maybe closer to Xan's first Bday.  Right now I'm gonna concentrate on him being smushy and that he's fighting me tonight!  I think he knows he's sleeping at his grandparents house tomorrow so tonight he's giving me a run.  OH... What am I saying?  I freaking love it.  Even when I'm tired and dead to the world.  I love going into his room and finding him balled up, and when he sees me he gets this big crooked grin on his face.  It take EVERYTHING for me not to start playing with him.

Last night we laid on the floor again.  He spent a half hour rolling into me and randomly punching me in the face.  I looked at him at one point and told him if he was anyone else on this planet, I would have knocked him out... yes... violence... it's fun...

It was cute.  It ended in me carrying him around for 20 minutes, feeding him a bottle and then getting him to crash back out.  I was told he slept till 7.

Soon.  Soon my friends!  Soon, I will have to blog with it's light out!

What if I'm sane?  That's no fun... guess I'll just start blogging when I'm drunk... HA!  Really just kidding on that one.  I do enough stupid things when I'm drunk - probably shouldn't document it in black and white!

I have to go watch BSG now - my inner geek is calling!  

And a new movie to watch - Hamlet 2!

SHAZAM! 
and good night

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