Monday, January 12, 2009

A new home for blogging


I usually do this on myspace, but I'm growing tried of myspace.  I've been on there for, what, I want to say five years now.  I guess I'm just getting over it.

Mind you, there are some people I only have contact through myspace, so I won't be deleting my account, but I think I'm just going to blog elsewhere - aka - here!

So this would be my first blog!

Now, if you've never read one of my blogs before, be for warned.  I do this in the middle of the night and mostly because I'm losing my mind in the middle of the night. It's the closest thing to human contact that I have when my child is pseudo sleeping.  And while I really find nothing wrong with not having human contact at 1 am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning... well, I'm over explaining, which I normally do.  Oh, one of the many joys of being me!

I'm tired.  Xan is not happy.  He keeps waking up screaming.  I feel bad for him.  In my down time between screaming sessions I keep feeling this wave of sadness wash over me.  
What I don't understand is why I can be good for so long and then bam!  It just hits me.  And as I lay on my couch, channel surfing for the 5th consecutive hour straight, my tooth throbbing, my stomach making weird noises, when it suddenly consumes me I want nothing more than to not think about it.

So I blog about it.

Yes, it makes sense in some alternate universe.
At least I hope it does.

I'm back to my fast forwarding kick.  I would like to jump ahead to June.  All nice and warm out.  Xander will be about eight months old.  Maybe this thing on my back will be gone.
Who knows?!

I just need something.
I wish I knew what that was.

I find myself keep saying things like, when I do this, or start that, or see this person, or go here and there - it'll be better.
And then I'm back here.
again and again and again...

and again...

I don't know.  I'm not that tired, but I'm exceptionally lazy tonight - I'm sure that's just exacerbating the issue.  I just want to feel normal again.  Whatever that was.

Why did I eat those m&m's?  

So I'm stopping.  But welcome to my non-myspace home.  I promise to keep things fun and stupid as always!!

Good night!

-A

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