Mind you, there are some people I only have contact through myspace, so I won't be deleting my account, but I think I'm just going to blog elsewhere - aka - here!
So this would be my first blog!
Now, if you've never read one of my blogs before, be for warned. I do this in the middle of the night and mostly because I'm losing my mind in the middle of the night. It's the closest thing to human contact that I have when my child is pseudo sleeping. And while I really find nothing wrong with not having human contact at 1 am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning... well, I'm over explaining, which I normally do. Oh, one of the many joys of being me!
I'm tired. Xan is not happy. He keeps waking up screaming. I feel bad for him. In my down time between screaming sessions I keep feeling this wave of sadness wash over me.
What I don't understand is why I can be good for so long and then bam! It just hits me. And as I lay on my couch, channel surfing for the 5th consecutive hour straight, my tooth throbbing, my stomach making weird noises, when it suddenly consumes me I want nothing more than to not think about it.
So I blog about it.
Yes, it makes sense in some alternate universe.
At least I hope it does.
I'm back to my fast forwarding kick. I would like to jump ahead to June. All nice and warm out. Xander will be about eight months old. Maybe this thing on my back will be gone.
I just need something.
I wish I knew what that was.
I find myself keep saying things like, when I do this, or start that, or see this person, or go here and there - it'll be better.
And then I'm back here.
again and again and again...
I don't know. I'm not that tired, but I'm exceptionally lazy tonight - I'm sure that's just exacerbating the issue. I just want to feel normal again. Whatever that was.
Why did I eat those m&m's?
So I'm stopping. But welcome to my non-myspace home. I promise to keep things fun and stupid as always!!