Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just another break down! That ended in chocolate and cheese...


Every now and again I think how interesting it would be if I could just figure out a way to record all the thoughts that I have - and then I realize... no... that would be a bad idea.  It's a better idea to be able to pick and choose what thoughts I share with the world.  
(No really, not 8, I swear I'm a grown up...)

I was all over the map again today.  I woke in  a good mood, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays my boy is at work with me, so we hung out and then decided that we were going to go to Target to check out the latest GI Joe selection.  

He fell asleep so we ended up just driving around and then coming home.

I don't know why but everything just fell apart at that moment.  I got really depressed.  Ended up having a good old crying session...

again...

I should collect my tears, I could add them to the lake that is currently my back yard.  You know, just one annoying thing combining with another...
Its annoying because I start that whole reconstructing "myself" crap - but let me tell you, this time it led to a bizarre realization.  I could actually hear the faux therapist in my head say, 
"And why do you think you picked those stories?"

What stories you ask?  WELL!  With VDay closing in and the amount of "He went to Jared" commercials piling up, I of course have "love" on my mind.  So I think of the blog I wrote about my opinion on said holiday and then I start thinking about romance and then movies/books that I love pop into my head - and then the trend appears...

Memoirs of a Geisha - 20 years to be with the man she loves, and in the book, then has to leave
Age of Innocents - never gets to be with the woman he loves
The Count of Monte Cristo - not the stupid ass movie that over simplifies the book - in the book he doesn't get back with his "true love" - Let's just say whom ever wrote Sweeney Todd probably loved Monte Cristo.  Edmund mentally tortures his "true loves" son just to get back at her... that's a sign of good stable emotional health...
Then there's Madam Bovary - she dies 
Hell!  Even Ender's Game!  He uses time travel, and the theory of the twin paradox to leave his entire world, very literally, in the past...

I am a psychology students wet dream of a thesis...

But enter my saving grace... Jane Eyre - nooooo!  He couldn't be with her until he was blind and deformed!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!  

I just want to be a normal girl.  Flowers, chocolates, love at first sight, love that lasts forever...
But no...

Instead I watch the office and think, (in reference to tonight's episode) "Hmm... how true is that.  It's easier to have a broken heart if you think that he/she is just as morose as you..." <- its true - regardless of how much it seems I base my love life on tragedy... my poor hubby... it really is true.  Misery loves company... end of story.

What am I going to do?  Guess I'll just be freaking weird... What other choice do I have?
Maybe I should start reading happier books?  Watching happier movies?  WAIT!  Twelfth Night!  They all end together... right?  

Hell, I watch Die Hard every Thanksgiving because it's my favorite Christmas movie... 
~sigh~
Once again... poor hubby... 

After the epiphany that I am emotionally inept and unstable had finally settled... the night ended up being not so bad.  My mood turned around.  My boy has a way of doing that to me... gave him a bath and then some delicious sweet potatoes and put him to bed.
Then, as we were eating dinner I explain to my husband (there was cheese and beer involved in dinner this evening) that if he were to cover himself in chocolate and have sex with me, that today would be one of the best days of my life...
Cheese
Beer
Chocolate
Sex...

He refused to pour chocolate on himself.

baby steps.

He then left the room for a moment, came back in and stood in front of me and laughed at me. Evidently my eyes were darting all over the room and when he thanked me for dinner for some reason I just assumed he was thanking me for sex - even though we hadn't been talking about sex, or had sex for that matter... I'd blame AOTS and their "in your pants" segment... but no... after I made the cheese, beer, chocolate, sex comment it was like there was a high pitch buzzing in my ears and peoples mouths kept moving but I couldn't hear anything and my mind kept running rapid until finally the situation was taken care of.

Have I ever mentioned how I'm a classy, classy dame?  
Yeah, there's probably a reason I haven't...

Sometimes I try to be all reserved.  I smile and I make coy hits...
Sometimes I don't have the patients for that...
And sometimes - there is a buzzing noise in my ears and peoples mouths are moving but no sound is coming out because all I can think of is...

So I'm better now!  

And I'm drinking some delicious coffee and I just finished a second beer!  
AND I'M OFF TOMORROW!  

Well!  This classy dame has to go do some laundry!
...baby steps for all of us...

who am I kidding?
BROKEN GOODS COMING THROUGH!
And I kinda like it!

You know... until the next time I emotionally break down... you know - tomorrow.

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