Monday, February 2, 2009

Killing me softly...


That's the song for tonight.  It's one of those songs that randomly gets stuck in my head.  I remember when the Fugees remade it in '96 - I was 21.  It was one of those songs I had forgotten about.  Roberta Flack's version is just as good - but Lauryn Hill - that voice.  My heart would break any time I heard it because I KNEW just how she felt - ...and then he looked right through me, like I wasn't there...

I remember driving around in my piece of crap car singing along at the top of my lungs... strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words, killing me softly with his song, killing me softly...

21 years old. At that point of my life the car was the ONLY place I'd sang.  There or in the shower.  I'd haul my big old cassette player/radio into the bathroom, pop in some album I loved at the moment and sing and sing and sing.  Surprisingly the steam from the shower, over time, destroyed many a cassette and at least one player.  
I probably drove a few people crazy with that, family - and ex... because I tend to obsess over songs.  Hell, when I first got my hands on Let's Go, after many years of NOT hearing it, it was in the CD player of my car for about two months.  I'd just flip my stereo to radio if someone was in the car with me.  Once they were out I'd turn it right back on - St. Mary is by far one of my all time favorite songs... 

I work so close to home now I rarely get a chance to belt it out in the car.  I think the last album I did that too was Coconut Records - Nighttiming... No, I just recently re-bought Bob Marley "Legend"... no woman, no cry... I drove out to north olmsted and took side roads to the metro parks and just cruised home at 30 mph... woman, little sister, don't shed no tears... no woman, no cry... 

But killing me softly... maybe is the sensuality of the song.  Sometimes that slow dulcet rhythm and the languid pulse of a song like that can just tantalize you and take you to a place in your head - you're very own utopia -  transforming you into something more... 
It's like a pair of soft lips brushing against the side of your neck and the warm breath that follows...

You just lose yourself... 

Another great one like that would be Solomon Burke's "Cry to me"
Or anything by Nina Simone, Etta James, and more contemporary Alicia Keys.

But right now I just want to hear Killing Me Softly in my head.  I want to let the notes run over me...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there
But he was there, this stranger, singing clear and loud
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
killing me softly, with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song... 

~good night

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