Monday, March 2, 2009

Shoes! Happy, happy shoes!!

My husband once commented to me that he found it very funny how I'll go out of my way to hide my feet.

You see.  I hate feet.  That is the one part the human body I don't care for.  So I guess in a way he's right.

Due to this I have an extensive sock and shoe collection.  The socks rang from the simple workout jobbie that are just below your ankle bone all the way to thigh high tube sock.  You know, the kind that was big in the late 70's early 80's?  They have three rings on the top, blue, red and then blue again.  And those are only my cotton socks I'm talking about, I'm not talking about my vast collection of thigh high fishnets and silk hoes.  My next investment... Cuban Heeled Thigh Highs.  (what are they?  Click here.  Sock Dreams is one of my favorite sites)

But on top of the cotton anklets, knee highs, tight thigh highs and the thigh high fishnet and regular thigh highs there is a massive shoe addiction.

Some people collect action figures, comic books, baseball or football card... stamps... I collect shoes.

When we moved to our new home back in August I took the time to give away some of the shoes I don't wear, at all, any more and I ended up giving away  3 pair of boots and 40+ pairs of shoes.  You might think, "What could she have left?!"  I want to guess, in heels alone, I have close to over 60 pairs.  That is not including my knee high combat boots, knee high dress boots, my red stiletto knee high italian boots or any of my work shoes (hiking, tennis, etc) that, my friends, are my heels. 

Some are in shoe boxes, most are in two very large plastic containers in my sons room (because they didn't fit in the closet in my room.)  My latest obsession are very tall heels.  The tallest pair I've bought recently is close to 5".  I call them my "dirty librarian shoes".  I have black,  orange, pink, red, purple, silver and one or two pairs of ivory colored shoes and I never buy heels under 2.5" because I don't see the point.  (I think 'kid' heels are ugly)

My obsession for shoes wasn't always so.  There was a point I owned maybe 3 whole pairs and none of them were in heel form.  I can't say I miss those days.  How could I?  

Someone once asked me what it was about shoes that I loved them so much, and I think I gave some drivel answer that was extremely obtuse - but here it is.

I think shoes can be the most sexy alluring thing ever.  They make me feel sexy.  And a thousand other things.

Bad day?  Dress nice and slip on a pair of open toe red heels.
Wanna feel sexy?  4" stilettos, velvet top, peep toe that makes your legs look like they're a mile long.
Pissed off?  3.5" wider heels with studded heel.
Going for a more subtle untouchable goddess feel?  3.5" purple satin t-straps, a nice pencil skirt and button down shirt.  

Don't feel comfortable walking in them for long periods of time - get them for the house.  Your husband/boyfriend will thank you for it.

Women spend so much money on lingerie, but forget the subtly of a beautiful pair of patent leather pumps.  Yes, when paired with the right... outfit... they do add a bit of flair - but just put a little make up on, do your hair all nice and just slip on some shoes.  And that's it.
I can't say I don't fall prey to buying lingerie.  I'm sure if I cashed in all of my shoes, socks and lingerie my son could go to Harvard and have a nice chunk left over - but I still think there is something to be said about minimalism.  

Porn makes it so simple and says this is how it should be
I prefer the more subtle route that says, "See these shoes?  How about the stockings with the seem up the back of the leg... bet you wonder where they lead too... bet you're wondering what's under there.  Is there a belt or are they just thigh highs... "

Like I've said.  Sex and food.  Packaging is a big deal.  

And start by buying yourself a really nice pair of shoes.
Rounded toe, patent red mary janes
and a tube of matching red lipstick

~sweet dreams

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