<- Look Mom! It's a metaphor!!
And tonight's topic!
ANNNNNNND!, how it sucks.
It is one of the hardest things you'll ever do in your life.
BUT it's a necessary evil.
Like shopping and porn and washing between your toes... :)
How else are people going to find out about you?
Should I wait around for some middle aged white guy from the publishing world to have an epiphany that causes him to finally realize I may exist and that I'm waiting for him to call me out of the blue to tell me I'm next up?!
"Hmm... I wonder if there is a 30 something woman in Ohio that really wants to be a writer. Martha! Where's that crystal ball again?!"
I say no my friend. There is a better chance I'll meet Santa.
I mean, look at this blog. (This beautiful, well crafted, glorious blog.)
This is just one of 2.5 that I write, nearly daily, all of which are on different topics.
I push to get my name and my words out there, out into this vast world via the internet and sometimes it's just so daunting that a myriad of reasons for giving up run through my head day and night and day again.
And then, on top of all of that... blogging is a medium that the general population hasn't fully accepted yet.
(You write a blog... Such disdain. Would you rather I kill puppies? Didn't think so.)
Then, there is a certain amount of backlash that comes with the readily available amount of blogs out there. New technology has made self-publication so easy that it's nearly free - which makes it even harder, because there you are looking at 6.7 billion people. It's the "Where's Waldo" of the writing world.
Who the hell has time to look through all of these blogs?
Everyone has advice on how to get your blog noticed. From streaking with your web address tattooed across your butt on the local 5 o'clock news to "putting a funny or shocking story about your life up!"
All of these posts on here... they are about my personal life. The only thing I have left that may be shocking in the least are my illicit nightly and day dreams...
Maybe that's it! Maybe it's time for me to just succumb to the pressures of the writing world and just write little tantalizing stories about lacy knickers and darken hallways?
So I now give you FIVE (5) ways to be better at EVERYTHING and to get noticed in the process:
#1 - Never take no for an answer!
If someone tells that you're not good at it - they are probably jealous because you're better at it then them. What is it? It could be writing, cooking, airplane maintenance. Keep going, not matter the cost. Okay, a little much, but be willing to go the distance and realize that everything in this world ebbs and flows. Just because you're at a low point doesn't mean you should quit.
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO!"
#2 - Never doubt how much people like free stuff.
You've seen those promotional catalogues for corporations. Buy 100 pens with your blog address on it and then give them to people.
#3 - Realize that you are not alone, so you'll have to show them why you're special.
Chance are there are 50,000 other people who want the same thing as you - so that moment when you think, "If I do that I'll make an ass out of myself" realize that making an ass out of yourself may get people to remember you and if they remember you, they may talk about you. And they tell a friend, who tells two friends... etc.
#4 - If you don't want it 100% then why the hell should anyone else?
If you can't sell your blog or other ideas to yourself, then why the hell should anyone else want it?
#5 - DON'T STOP, BELIEVIN'! HOLD ON TO THAT FEEELIN'! Streetlight, peopleeeee!
See. The reality of this situation is that I just wanted to write a list.
I read these lists, like I stated, that tell you different ways to "get noticed" in the world of blogging. Some of the things I do just because I'm OCD (like change my background all the time - OCD, I bore easily - hence the 3 husbands... KIDDING)
But I will tell you one thing - all the people that follow this blog have awesome blogs of their own. Then, on my profile page, there is a list of the other blogs I follow - those too rock.
Tell people about the blogs you read while you're telling them about the ones you write. WE are the filters that whittle through this mess of blogs littering the internet.
In conclusion, this is what you should have gotten out of this blog:
- Journey. You know you secretly like them, and you sing along when you think no one is watching.
- Blogging. It's not going anywhere, it's only getting bigger. This is scary. So write well!
- Self-promotion. Help a brother (or sister) out! (if you tell a friend and they'll tell a friend...)
- Pretend your blog is a band you are in and make fliers to put in coffee houses or the vestibule of a restaurant.
And make me brownies.
Now go read more of my stuff and then click on the little faces to the left, head over to my profile and even click on the people that have made comments on my other blogs.
And don't make me tell you twice... ;)
Sweet dreams and good night!