Friday, July 24, 2009

Furniture


Someone once told me that there were two types of people in this world - your friends and furniture. 

I never gave much thought to that comment until recently. After a long hard winter where I spent most of my time shoveling driveways and becoming a new mother I, like many,  had grown overly excited for long warm nights surrounded by friends and family and my new son.

As the days grew warmer and warmer and longer and longer and suddenly it was the end of July I found myself revisiting that comment - some people are like furniture. They're in your life but you just move them around, because technically they're not yours to give away.

I suppose part of me didn't like that comment for two reasons. Number one, it just comes off crass and slightly mean and number two, what if I was the furniture in some one's life? That's just a terrible thought...

But then I stopped.

All those months of waiting and waiting and waiting was about as climatic as losing your virginity. It really wasn't.

I have no idea when the change occurred. I have no idea when my wants and desires twisted so drastically that most people I see around me are there for the maybe one or two people I actually do care about. And most of all, I don't know when it became so unimportant to me if I was someone else furniture.

Statics have shown that 1 out of 4 people don't like you just "because" and I wasn't put here to please the general public, so why was I trying to?

I know it's been coming for a long while - but when I come here, when I write on here I tend to extract only the most pungent of emotions. In reality those emotions are so watered down the rest of the time that the pugnacity of their meaning is mostly lost in every day life. Life really is good at that, muddling and masking most everything until one day you stop and go, "Huh? OK... guess I'm here now."

Gandhi once said that to change the world you must change yourself. If you project, through yourself, what you want and expect the world to be it's much easier to have it happen. A.K.A. Actions speak louder than words.

Yes, I'm sad I don't see tons of people more often. In reality I really, truly and have always been a very social butterfly (if you will). But at the end of the day, the final gist of it all, is that who I'm representing at this part of my life is who I want to be in the long run. It's who I want to spend my precious and little spare time with.

Having a child and being encompassed in winter was life changing in so many ways. Concentrating on becoming a writer, a mother and a better wife... for the first time in my life, when I don't go out I never think - "God! Sure hope I won't miss anything!" because even if I do, it's unimportant.

Living a drama free life is wonderful
Learning that when you are the person that takes care of everything, no one is there to take care of you was hard lesson, but it was worth it for what I ended up with.

I still don't like to compare people to inanimate objects, but sadly at the end of the day - some people are just furniture, lucky for me I prefer a rather zen room, mostly bare save the few things that I truly and really love. Sometimes removing the things you no longer need is worth the two days of upheaval. 

Even if it is comparing a person to a chair. 

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