Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Letter to No One:

Dear No One,

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!! I know! How times flies by so quickly... one moment we're bitching about being snowed in and then next some jackass is blowing off fire crackers in front of my house because they're being "festive" and enjoying the holiday!

Yes, world, 233 years ago a bunch of white men dressed in extremely warm wool outfits sat down in a courthouse in Philadelphia PA and signed the Declaration of Independence! ENGLAND BE DAMNED! We would no longer be King George II's bitch! U.S.A.!

Our fore fathers wrote a decree that told the world we would no longer listen to fat George and/or deal with his faulty eye sight! WE WOULD BE FREE!


Oh, No One... doesn't it just make your heart skip a beat? Doesn't it make you want to stop for a second and think about all the people who died to get us to where we are? Oh... that's right! You're too busy firing off bottle rockets in front of my house!

No One, do you even UNDERSTAND the meaning of the fire cracker  in relationship to our Independence Day? I'm going think your coors light toting ass doesn't. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you're too drunk and too busy listening to the newest rendition of "Proud to be an American" to understand that the dime store gun powder stick you bought off your cousin Carl, because he lives in Kentucky and got you a "deal" that you think its just something "fun" to do and that you don't realize that they were meant to represent and reminds us, always, of the cannons the English were firing at us on this very day 233 years ago. 

I know, No One, I expect a lot of you, but that's just me. I have lofty ideas and goals! For I am a fool who believes that when you live on a street FILLED with small children, making loud noises at 11pm at night MAY piss someone off - and not just me, that guy who's yelling at you right now too!

So have a happy 4th No One and know, one day you'll be on the flip side of this coin. Yes, it's called karma. What goes around comes around, trust me, I know! But until then... try not to lean over the rocket so much. You may annoy me but the hospital is probably filled with the rest of your kind.

Now, go pass out like a good boy!

Sincerely yours, 

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