Saturday, August 22, 2009

14 - Juxtaposition


I've always been in love with words.
There is something about the texture of them.
I like to compare them to a good glass of wine or a warm brandy, how they roll around inside your mouth as you speak them.
I've made lists of them
Lists of words I like
  • solace
  • ungulate
  • juxtaposition
I remember having a conversation about music many years ago, the person asked me what I liked about the song, and I told her I like the texture of it. She stopped for a minute, thinking about the absurdity of what I had said - it was a song, not pork tenderloin - and then smiled and agreed with me. 

I just like them.

That last one, juxtaposition, has been stuck in my head all day. 
I keep over enunciating it in my head.

juxtaposition
juxtaposition
juxtaposition

It's a good word. I don't think we use good words these days. We use common words. "Next too" is much easier than juxtaposition.

easy

nothings really easy

after two containers of food this evening, my son - overly excited - grabbed his juice and threw his head back. The bottle slipped from his hand for a moment and the nipple slipped into his throat.

Gagging himself.

I heard him cough, I was up stairs trying to do this and that then I hear my husband yelp. I ran down stairs in time to see all of the food squirt out the little guys noes. 10 months old, you can't explain it to him - all I saw were two little eye, wide and in terror.

I pulled him from his high chair, attempting to throw a towel over my shoulder. I failed.

He clung to me as he puked up the rest of his dinner, as I carried him to the bathroom. I felt so bad because there wasn't much I could do. Once the smell was in his nose he kept forcing himself to vomit until all that was left was bile.

I slid to the floor and he wrapped himself around me as I rocked and sang to him. The same song I've been singing to him for the last 10 months when he's upset. Edelweiss.

"...edelweiss. edelweiss. every morning you greet me. small and white. clean and bright. you look so happy to meet me..."

My husband came into the room, a look of terror on his face, a wet washcloth in tow.

I had stripped the boy down to his diaper by this point, so we placed the cool cloth on his warm skin as my husband ran him a bath.

When I sing Edelweiss to him I tend to change the word "Edelweiss" to his name, plus the word "butt." I'm sure he doesn't understand but it makes him laugh. And 20 minutes into the bath he had sneezed the rest of the puke from his nose and then realized he could play with all of his bath toys. 

(There are a great abundance. His grandparents love to spoil him. I love that about them.)

I put on a little music and then went to the bedroom too peeled off my clothing that was now covered in "garden vegetables" and "blackberries and applesauce" as my husband played with him.

I don't really remember most of today.
I was booted from bed at 3:30 in the morning, evidently I was taking up too much room and when the bed fight ensued, I lost, so I moved down to the couch.
This normally doesn't bother me.
I have no issues about sleeping on the couch, when I can sleep, but something snapped inside my head and the rambling started - so from 3:30-5 I attempted to coax myself to sleep, and just as I felt the weight of sleep return I heard the little guy.
I was on the verge of ignoring him when I heard a loud noise. He threw something out of the crib, so I went in to make sure it wasn't him - it was an empty bottle. He likes to sleep with water near by, and it was empty.
By the time I changed him and got him back down it was after 5 so when he woke for good just after 6 all I could think about was napping when my husband woke up.

Did I forget to mention that I didn't fall asleep till 1?

I napped for about an hour and had this crazy super hero dream. 
I'm a big fangirl if you will, I've had a few super hero dreams, one I even wrote out.
This one I was on a plane with some children of super heroes. Kind of outside of myself, I watched as we, me and Wonder Woman, realized that the person we were running from was controlling the plane - we found this out when his lackey pilot told me so, because he thought I was cute. 

I wonder what female super hero I was supposed to be? Huntress? I remember purple, that's the only reason I'm picking her. 

The lackey told me that he was going to use the plane as a bomb and run it into stark tower. (Which makes no sense because that would be crossing universes... but anyway!) it ended with Wonder Woman down for the count and me trying to protect 3 small kids as we crash landed into a field.

I started to wake up, but then I drifted off again for a moment.
This time I was in bed, depressed, and that friend I spoke of was there.
They apologized and gave me a hug.

Juxtaposition

just because things are next to each other doesn't mean you should ever compare them.

plus,

Not every day
can be the one
that makes you say
TAADAA
but every day
can lead you to the one
that will

one foot in front of the other
-Or- 
in the words of the Great Finding Nemo - just keep swimming... just keep swimming... 

And if that doesn't do it for you, I'm still on my ELO kick - "Hold on Tight"

Hold on tight to your dreams
Hold on tight to your dreams
When you see your ship go sailing
When you feel your heart is breaking
Hold on tight to your dreams

(not the one's you have while you sleep - the other variety)

the act or instance of placing two or more things side by side... 
juxtaposition

~good night

2 comments:

  1. That was wonderful...A bit of everything...I hate it when the kids puke...Especially that young...But they always bounce back so well, and sometimes quicker then us....

    You really can't go wrong with either ELO or Finding Nemo!

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  2. I can quote that entire movie.

    I hate when things happen to him that are out of my control, especially when I can't explain why, poor little dude...

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