Wednesday, August 12, 2009

~interlude~


I don't know when spirituality really came back into my life. Part of me feels that it never really left, it was just buried for a long time. The general idea of contributing to a conformed religion, to this day, makes my slightly sick. Being raised Catholic will do that to you, just any one that was. We all have stories from the ones that make the papers to just years of being told you aren't worth anything unless you mindlessly follow the ranting of an old white man who you will never meet that thinks that he, and only he, can talk directly to god.

Most notable historical "villains" also felt that way... 

I think I started looking for something to connect to again my last year of high school. I was very much alone with all of my friends gone, they had joined the military, gone to college, got knocked up and married.

I would fall back into it when it was convenient for me.

"Dear God! Please let me pass this test!" 
"Dear God! Please let so-and-so notice me today!"

God. The Daddy Warbucks of the whole wide world...

I don't know if there is a God or Gods or Goddess or whatever it is you believe in. I can't say that Islam is better than Christianity or that Buddhism smokes Wicca.

The only thing I know is that when I do yoga or meditate - it's all good. 

I don't feel angry. 
I don't feel sarcastic. 
I don't feel like I need to complain. 

I just want to smile.
I just feel... peaceful.

I can look at things and see a good side, not the shitty crap that pisses me off.

And there was your 5 second interlude! Day 4 will be posting shortly...


2 comments:

  1. I've always battled with faith and religion...Ever since grade school...Friggin Father John!

    I always seem to fall back on th esimplest thing I know...I believe in me.

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  2. I try to just believe in myself, and for the most part I do.
    I can't say I'll ever be part of anything like the church again - that cuts still waaaay too deep...

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