Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Every now and then, when I'm up here typing away on this old computer, either working, writing or playing around on here - it's super late and my husband wakes up. I'll sit here and watch him stumble down the hall to the bathroom and then try to gauge the response I'm going to get from him when he steps back into the hallway.
Some nights he doesn't even acknowledge my presence - other nights, like tonight - he stands there with a frown on his face and stares at me.
That's his way of saying, "You know your the one getting up with the kid in the morning and it's after midnight?"
"OK..." But he never says a word, he just shrugs and goes back to bed. (Or I take him there, and step on a cat along the way)
I didn't even intend to write tonight, I'm not feeling very inspired today.
I did my yoga, read and meditated.
Attempted to become a vegan - failed - questioned why the hell I'd want to be a vegan - then gave up on the entire idea. All before 5pm.
Then we went for a walk with the boy, ate some cheap cheese pizza and watched to much television.
Over all - a dull and boring day.
My down time was filled with things like, pricing books online. Realizing just because I could hold a wheel pose for hours on end when I was 10, in no way means I can now. Accepting the fact that the reason I keep trying to become vegan is because there is so little I can eat anymore - but let me ask you this? How is me punishing myself by taking away what little I can eat going to help bring back the other things I've had but no choice to give up due to the fact my body grows to hate me the older and older I get?
See. Just another day.
And I went to the grocery store. I can eat fruit - so I eat a lot of it.
In closing, I'm lacking in passion as of right now. I've just been trying to stay the course, not drink or smoke for a few weeks, prepare for class, determine what my next short story will be and mentally preparing for the 24 hours writing contest I entered for the weekend of the 19-20th and then, just being bored.
With my 10 month old.
I'm a whack job.
To many inversions - all that blood running to my brain...
ahh... to bad I like it!