Wednesday, September 16, 2009

hindsight


The signs are everywhere.
At least in hindsight.
It makes me want to kick myself when I notice all of them
Lined up in a row
Like targets
At a shooting range

You can say the words
But they won't work unless you believe them
Belief
More curious and strong than an altoid

There are thousands of illnesses
that are simply derived by people
who take up all their time and believe in them

If you believe in it enough
It's true
No matter what anyone else
tells you

When I look around
at the filtered memories of my life
and notice the flashes in the pan
things that were there that I ignored
brushed off
turned away from
or just simply missed because I was just "too busy" doing nothing at all
I can now laugh at myself

It's like when I'm doing yoga
It's the one place where I can fall
literally
on my face and it doesn't bother me at all
It doesn't
I just get back up
and start over again

and when I'm scared
and the fear is holding tight
I feel like I could choke
and I can't breath
the sweat starts to pour down my face
and I keep thinking about everything that could go wrong
then I get really pissed off
and I do the hand stand

the signs are everywhere
that I'm supposed to be here
that I was always meant to be here
and maybe I took the long road
or maybe the road is just perfect

that's one of those things
that I'll learn
in hindsight
five years from now...

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