Monday, September 21, 2009

Look how far you've come kiddo! Yes, I'm talking to myself again... it's the drugs :)

So, TV is back in session.
Yes, that's right - all those shows that keep us warm all winter long are now back on the air - mostly. That and the fact that my fantasy football team lost just makes me sad, mostly because it officially means that summer is over.

All of that and todays date.

Every year I do the same thing
Every year I try to embrace this
Every year I make it until it snows and then I start weeping like a virgin Mary statue
it really sucks
I hate winter more than words can say...

I was looking through this thing earlier, this here blog... it's just one of those things I like to do every now and again. Reread everything I've posted just to see if I sound as crazy as I feel most days, I'm happy to announce I don't seem that bad.
Over exaggeration
My brain is famously good at that...

But I just wanted to touch on some things. I figure I've been doing this death thing for about a month and a half now and I'm feeling good about it and heres why:

#1. My smoking and drinking are in check. I haven't quit, but I have it in control so I drink and smoke when I feel the need, not when I feel overwhelmed by life and think its the only thing that's going to make me "feel good" even though it never does. Plus the longer I do it the less and less I want to take part in it at all... (says the girl without the beer in her hand... sure I'll touch on this again on sunday when I'm hung over.)

#2. Same goes for sex. I'd elaborate, but don't feel like it. I've put myself in a bubble on this topic, meaning that I can only get to what's INSIDE the bubble... it's keeping me sane.
Surprisingly, this was a lot harder than the smoking and cigarette things

#3. Even when I have bad moments they are no longer over dramatic and if I ever raise my voice or get into an argument with anyone I make sure to fix it before the day is over. If I haven't, I feel terrible. There is no reason to leave arguments between you and someone you care about unresolved for more than an hour or so... Basically FTD will stay in business because I no longer want to be an asshole.
You're welcome FTD

#4. My need to be a vegetarian on the path to veganism is a positive thing in my life. I no longer wear leather or buy anything animal related.
Yes - this seems like an extreme, but it's the whole "put your money where your mouth is" kinda thing. No, I can't say this will be how I'll live my life for every last day of it, but for now it's what I need to do. And if you understand my obsession with shoes and fashion, you'll understand that this is a very big thing for me.

#5. When I say I don't care what other people are saying, for the first time in my life I mean it. I don't. I also don't participate in gossip that much these days.
I don't have an opinion, and over all most of what I hear is not that interesting, its just someone else being raked over the coals and since I've been there I won't be part of that. People who don't like you because they are any number of unreasonable emotions are a waste of time. There is too much life to live, too many people who need my help and too many people who love me for who I am to be concentrating on people who don't understand me and refuse to try simply because I'm not like them.

#6. Back to the vegetarian/vegan thing - I think that if more people understood what they were doing they would join this crusade with me. It's kind of like the Walmart thing.
Yes - it's cheaper for you, but at what cost? In the end you're just making Sam Walden and his family richer and putting your friends and family out on the street without insurance or decent wages. And why? Because you saved a buck.
I'd still rather pay too much and know I didn't make a single mom in Souther Ohio Homeless.

#7. I'm done being preaching ;)

Yes, there are still days when I retrograde back a step or two but I no longer feel like my world will collapse around my ears if this happens. It's a nice feeling.

So I'm going to keep going.

Outside of my mid-life change of events the only other things that are new that are wonderful, I had the opportunity to reconnect with a wonderful woman I was friends with years ago. She moved out of state and we just kind of lost touch, I'm happy to be back in touch with her.

Thank you Facebook!

I also realize that if my iPhone was a man I'd marry it and live happily ever after.
Seriously. All you people who don't have iPhones, I'm sorry, it's the greatest thing EVER. So much fun I can't even stand it.

And as I started off saying, my Fantasy Football team lost this week, but I look at it this way. I've won at least one game - which means I'm doing better than the Browns...
Sorry Browns, does anyone else think that Mangini may be 3 steps shy of becoming that "crazy" guy you avoid at parties? It's like the lights are on, but no ones home and even if they were, you wouldn't want to go to THAT house and get candy at halloween... oh no you wouldn't...

This is the end of my excessive blogging...
for now...
here's hoping I can sleep!

good night


  1. You nailed Mangini!

    I'm glad you're going to keep going!

  2. isn't he a freak-a-zoid?
    Seriously, I won't pretend that I know much about sports, so when it become obvious to me... you're doing something SUPER DUPER off...