"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived." ~Spanish Proverb
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two pigs fall into the mud - three come out! ZING!
Back in the late 70s, early 80s my father worked for the government.
They said to fight the man, but no, my dad worked for him!
It really wasn't all that bad. In that time period, just after the Jimmy Carter push for equal housing rights for all, my dad worked to implement those rights.
It was a different time back then. The Carter administraton sought to help the little man, kinda like Obama, and the general public made fun if him... kinda like Obama...
But everything was different then. The environment at the work place was saturated with a dense cloud of cigarette smoke, sexual harassment seminars weren't around yet and the 'battle of the sexes' was in full play.
Even in a government setting.
My dad worked with this guy who always told the best jokes (keep in mind I was 8) and I grew up in a family where no subject was taboo - so I got to hear ALL the jokes.
Even the dirty ones.
There was one that always stuck with me. Well... kinda stuck with me... I remember the general principle of the joke - actually it was a political joke not a "dirty" one, but summed up it was about how men will tell anyone who will listen about banging their wives, but ask them their political views and their lips are sealed.
"I don't think I should say anything. That's personal."
But it's true.
Like I said, in my house we never had any sort of taboo about sex. I've had conversations about sex with nearly every single person I've ever met. I don't shy away from any topic - why would I start here.
I've always hated how people make it seem like a bad thing, or it's "this" or "that". Kinda like talking in the art museum - people treat the place like a church. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't - but you should be able to talk at a normal level without being shushed. Just like you should be able to talk about sex and not get - "Oh -A... [insert any number of bullshit comments here.]"
Over the last few months I've begun to not talk about this topic. Making it even more taboo than it ever deserves to be. Why? Criticism I suppose.
Let me be frank. It's is natural and normal and I like it. I don't feel bad for liking it or think there is something wrong with me because I like it. Yes, I'm not the most typical "girl" out there - but it's not like I'm the only female out there like me. One of my guy friends called me a nympho - I simply said we all have our crosses to bear - that's mine.
My husband asked me once what I would do if he stopped putting out. I gave him options: #1 - I would stay with him, but he would have to accept the fact that I would take a lover #2 - I'd leave.
He was mad. I told him that he needed to stop and look at what he had just asked me for. Why would you ever ask that of me? I would never ask that of you. No. Sex does not, in any way, equal love, but that doesn't mean I should love sex any less.
Due to me being me - and seeing that I've always had more male friends than female friends just added to this. I'm not timid when it comes to the conversation portion of the night that includes commentary about anything sexual - I don't hold punches - sometimes too much. This has gotten me into many bad situations because some people out there think that since I can speak freely it's an open invitation.
Nope. Wrong again.
People have called me a lot of name, made a lot of comments and frankly I don't care. They've told me that I'm naive about this topic because I speak like this. I also don't agree with that comment. I think the reason the topic feels naive, taboo, or scary is because we treat it like the damn bubble boy. It's sad that even in the 21st Century that it's still the same. If a guy tells you he's had sex with 25 different women, he's a god and if a woman says the same - she's still a slut.
If a woman is the pursuer she's "controlling" but if it's the guy... then he's the head of the household.
I am me. Yes, I've made some adjustments over the past few months to deal with things better and to not be so "on" all the time. But still. I'll never understand how anyone can go more than a few days without sex.
What the hell. That's like living your entire life without eating cotton candy going to Coney Island Seeing the Eiffel Tower And you know what? Oh, it's free! FREE! (for some of us...)
That's like only eating corn flakes every day for the rest of your life. And not even Kelloggs - like that generic crap that gets super soggy in milk.
I have all these books to read for my yoga class and on top of that I've read a few Buddhist related topics. The Buddha told his followers that sex is complicated and it can bring pain. That the only way to stay away from that pain is to just avoid sex - to give it all up. If you give it up it's not there to muddle up things like, your judgement, your mind, or you in general. Yes. Sex is complicated. You bring it into any relationship, even ones that you know are just for that small amount of time - and it changes things - but no way.
I'll give up honey I'll give up wealth I'll give up shopping, gossip, television, you name it I won't ever give up sex And right now, I don't know why I decided to not talk about it any more.
Oh that's right! Because I'm an idiot.
Humanity - sucking the life out of us from the moment we're born.
Everyone always says men and women are so different. No we're not. It's just like the sex thing - we've been telling each other that for so long now that we just believe it. The biggest issue with anyone in any sort of relationship is communication.
(With how much I talk I shouldn't have any problems! Ha! kidding... but honestly.) Who doesn't like sex? Chances are you're just communicating wrong.
All those people who think its bad someone can't grasp it's the very reason they're here...