Monday, October 5, 2009

Chapters



When we begin another chapter of life
Do we have to leave the past behind
or can we take it with us

I really don't think there's a choice in that

in a way we're all just baggage
or maybe a cup
as we move through life bits and pieces fill that cup
some good
some great
some bad
some so terrible we wonder why we have to carry it at all

these memories can be burdens
or we can stop and look at them
turn them around in our heads
and our hands
until we find what we loved about it

even the bad moments

balance
there is always a little something that is good
a lesson
a moment
something

as we move to the next chapter
when we find
and accept
we can move freely
even when we carry those bad things

stronger
smarter
funnier
happier than before

each step forward
reveals the cornucopia
that we are
not the dump trucks we may feel like

I have these moments in my life
lost friends
bad situation
lost loves
argumentative bits

I used to fear them
think that in some way they'd bite me in the ass
assume the next bad thing was in direct relation

when I finally stopped guessing
I began to stop fearing

when I stop fearing
I'll be able to love

when I can truly love
I'll probably get hurt again

but I'll learn
and I'll grow

I'll breath
and I'll cry my ever loving heart out

I'll scream
and beg for mercy

and then I'll let it go

And then I'll move to the next chapter of my life
knowing that I did what I could in that moment
even if it came off shitty
even if it came off callous

even if it was
for that second

but in the end
I'll look at it all

everyone that has touched me
and I'll say I love you
and I'll mean it.

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