Thursday, October 15, 2009

its too cold too soon...





It's so cold today. I know it's only 45, which is better than the 2 it will be soon, but still... I wish it was still 70.

I tried to make it to bed at a decent hour last night and ended up staring at the ceiling for an hour. I had full intention of downloading a audio book onto my phone to listen to, but luck me, it's not on itunes...  Most days I would never go the audio book route, but it would make my life a bit easier right now - and I need something easier.

I have a lot of homework, which doesn't bother me - it's the lack of time that bothers me.

I know if I can just get organized than I can do it all - but this week went by so fast I haven't had a moment to even do that.

Last evening I went to a yoga class, I should go tonight but I'm visiting a friend whom I haven't seen in over a month and part of me is screaming to skip so I can work on things, but I need the break and I need to sleep in tomorrow.
But as I was laying there in savasana, I will admit that my mind does wander. I started to think about how people treat life like a contest and every time I have that thought, I think about how no one ever wins.

Working from that view point I began to map out a blog entry about how life is to important to make into a silly child's game and that there is no race. The finish line could be just around the corner, but we waste our time out weird shortcuts instead of the trip.

I'm talking about me.

This is me taking a break right now.
I've been slacking in many areas of my life. I have 2 restaurant reviews to post, I didn't get my TV reviews up last week. I have a lot of reading to do and a few things I need to memorize.

I need to nap. But it's too late now. If I even close my eyes for a moment, my son will wake up - so why trick myself into thinking rest is in sight?

sometimes I can see the light
that is sitting across that long tunnel
I look at it and say
I can keep doing this
tiny auspicious moments
move me faster
until the light moves further on
with numbered days
and timed moments
losing sight is the easiest thing to do
that and avoidance
but if you look you'll see
the dance part over the avoid
and you'll realize
if it's meant to be
it will be
maybe it'll take 20 years
but it will be
and if you only have
less than 300 left
you need to see
that maybe is just maybe
and now can be perfect
if you let it

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