Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Clarity and the meaning of life. All of those things in the bottom of that Cracker Jack Box.
Clarity is one of those things in life that seem to fall into my lap.
For months I'll do nothing but seek it out, leaving no rock unturned, hoping the meaning of it all will just simply jump out at me in the middle of the night - scaring me half to death - as it yells, "HERE I AM!"
It's kinda like that moment when you were a teenager, for one moment, life ACTUALLY made sense.
I still look for it every day - both the meaning of my life and the clarity to live that life right. I think the moment that I stop searching is the moment I'm truly dead, even if I'm physically standing before you.
These "Please God! Oh PLEASE tell me what to do!" moments, I have to say, are sprinkled throughout my life. Not that I'm proud of them, but, especially lately, when I've felt battered and beaten to the point I plainly crave someone or something else taking the reigns so I can just become the pile of mushy goo on my bedroom floor I so want to be.
Worthless and messy
Listless and exhausted
But in those moments, the moments I've wanted to just pack it all in, those are the moments I always find clarity.
I pick myself up
I dust myself off
& I start all over again
Two quotes I live by:
#1 - One step forward, two steps back - V.I. Lenin
#2 - You may have to fight the battle more than once to win - Margaret Thatcher
The second one I just learned and I'm putting it into the rotation of my life as of this moment.
They both mean the same thing to me. Sometimes you have to work harder for what you want and you can't let those moments you feel like a failure kick you so far down you're not willing to ever get back up. AND you can't let other people make you feel that way either!
I've done that. I think we all have.
It's one of those "things" that are on all of our life lists:
- Fall in love - CHECK!
- Heartbreak - CHECK!
- Beat yourself up for not being perfect - CHECH! AND CHECK! ANNNND CHECK!!
The myriad of events in our lives define us... or do they?
I think that when we begin to label ourselves and subject others to those same lables we automatically deplete the worth of ourselves. Didn't our parents tell us we could do or be anything? (if they didn't they should have) Isn't that still true?
Yes. You can do anything if you're willing to work, bleed, sleep, eat, breathe all of it into your heart and then reach for it with all of your might.
We lose clarity over time.
It's like we're a jug of milk - "Expires 12-21-2012"
No. That's not true.
(by the way, the explosion of the "worlds gonna end on 12-21-2012" is a myth. The Mayan calendar has prophecies that go out as far as the 4,000. I think that the planets will align that day in a way that no one has ever or will ever see again. Here's an article more about it.)
Yes. We all die.
Yet another little thing we ALL have in common - but our worth is greater than that.
YOU are special.
YOU are important.
I AM special.
I AM important.
We are two peas in a pod.
All of us are.
We breath the same air, get scared of silly things, cry, laugh, eat, sleep, poop.
We bottle things up until we can't hold it in any longer and then we learn how to do just that - hold it until we feel like we may explode...
Finally, we find ourselves clinging to the words of anything, anyone, even the billboard we pass every day to work, or the monologue of the nightly anchorman/woman - just to find...
All you need to do is stop.
& sigh... <- let it out. give it to the cosmos. let that burden not be yours any more.
The meaning of life is different to every person alive but the clarity to see it can be muddled by all those things we think we need to have to be happy.
I'm sure if you looked you would see you already have everything you've ever needed. In the end we have no choice, but right now you do. Lots of choices.
There is never a good time - so there is no time like the present
Now go live your life and stop letting your life live you and know that clarity will always be there when you need it. Just like chocolate chip cookies or an extra blanket.
It really is something you can count on.
I promise you that.