Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Today in the life a middle aged house wife...


Most days, generally speaking, I do find life to be rather amusing. Yes, on here it may seem all fists and glory, but there are so many levels to a day I normally attempt to pick what I think is the most interesting - and being pissy or passing my opinion off to the world are my two favorite things to post.

But I have to say, the one thing I've learned over the time I've invested in blogging, the posts that I find most compelling, my BEST WORK EVER, are normally the posts that are totally passed up on. (as far as I can tell. my stats program isn't the greatest thing...)

So today I think I'm just going to go for the narrative affect of nothingness that is the true reality of most of our lives. No, we are not nothing but the routine seems to sink it's claws in and before we know it we're just moving, ever so quickly, on auto pilot - here's hoping we don't miss our exit...

AAAhhuuummm! <-clearing my throat

Today has been filled with all sorts of fun things from cleaning toilets to changing poopy diapers to washing all the items in the bathroom - my sons new very favorite place to play - and all of this I need to get accomplished before he wakes up from his nap. BECAUSE when he wakes up I need to drop him off at my mother's and when that happens I have to use that time to run to the grocery store and study my ass off.

The mixture of normal life, the fact that I'm jobless (and just L-O-V-I-N-G it <-sarcasm) in school and have so much homework I'm not sure what to do, plus my "lady's holiday" is evidently taking a holiday of its own and rearing it's ugly head whenever it sees fit, all combined, has now moved my normal emotional "ebbing and flowing" to resemble that of a beach just about to be hit by a tsunami.

"Bob is that... no... that can't be the ocean floor? OH MY GOD! IT'S THE OCEAN FLOOR!"

See - you get it.

I find that I have to do things in a very certain order, for if I do not I forget to do certain things and then it's suddenly 10pm and I want to go to bed to read all relaxed like, but I can't because I STILL HAVE CRAP TO DO! Which needs to get done before I sleep or the next day will be even more chaotic.

It's all a puzzle. Like how I just remembered I should go get the car out of the garage BEFORE he wakes up so I can toss his stinky little bottom in the back and zip him over to my mom's thus allowing me not to have to play the role of Luke Skywalker  with my boy strapped to my back as I flip and crawl my way through the dagobah that is my backyard and garage.

Yes - these are the mundane things that most will raise an eyebrow to thinking, "you didn't see that as something obviously easier than waiting to carry precious cargo?"

I do - but the mundane "obvious" things are normally the first things to go out of this overly cramped head of mine. Mostly I'm thinking, "why can't I find a coupon online for quorn? there has to ONE somewhere that I'm missing." & "OK. Post office, Library, and the grocery store.... you know, I'll skip the post office and go there Thursday - so that's just the library and the store... hmm... here's hoping I have enough time to memorize that mantra and type out the rest of my notes before the day is through."

As my heart pounds faster and faster in my chest I try to take this moment to come here and amuse myself with my lame attempt at wit and my keen fashion sense. Sorry. Buffy.

Breathe
Breathe
Breathe

OK!

I need two things: More coffee and More advil.
Pain killers and speed

See, I told you life is mostly just amusing - just like only a 34 year old house wife who is studying to become a yoga instructor and fulfill her dream to be a writer can be.

To be continued...

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