Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Conscience...


Do you think that people can change?
I ask myself this question all the time. (mostly because I've been working so hard on changing my life...) But it's this weird riddle - changing yourself. Some can see it as a negative thing, but I'm not trying for a negative change, not in the least. I'm trying to do something with this gift I call my life.

So, back to the question. CAN PEOPLE CHANGE?!
Maybe its not that they're changing, but maybe it's that who they choose to show you now, a part of them that was always there. [insert onion metaphor here]
I find those layers in myself. I find myself working on projects these days that I remember having great interest in 10-15 years ago.

I stopped because I didn't think it was what I was supposed to be doing, but right now all signs point to "yes". Does that mean I'm not the same person I was a year ago or five?

Too many rules I tell you! Too many god damn rules laid out by the "thems" and the "theys" and I followed them blindly into traffic.

I've always been the "weird one" - yup, that's me. Freaking out of my gourde most days of the week - but that's who I am. I was so afraid "they" wouldn't like it that I tried to suppress it so I wouldn't end up alone, but the alone I was afraid of I've already ended up.

Yes. Abandonment issues are like chocolate chip cookies to the milk of my core.

That's a lie. It's ironic... this year that I "lost" all my friends I'm sending out 4x the amount of Christmas cards I normally  do. I'm happier. I smile more - I write obscure blogs about nothing for hours and hours and hours...

:)

That old proverb about the less you have the more you have - it's true. You just have to believe.

Just like in people. You have to believe that they can change. But you also have to realize that just because YOU want them to change doesn't mean that they will - they have to want it.

Like smoking or a bad relationship. You can't quit until you're ready to, or you'll just keep going back.

You want to know the truth world? All those things you were told as a child, they were true. You can do anything, you can be anyone and if you want to... you should. If you tell yourself you're going to be something and keep telling yourself that, you up the chances by 50%.

If you look for the silver lining you'll find it.

If you look for all the faults in a person or in the world, you'll find that too. And where the hell is the fun in that?

People can change
You can have your dreams
The world is your oyster
and listening to those people who tell you that I'm wrong and that you/they can't - they're the problem.

You may not know me
But you do
I'm that voice in your head that makes you work your butt off
I'm that little bit of gusto that keeps you moving when you think, for a moment, it's not wroth it.

I'm your conscience.

So I tell you. If you think you can't - I say and I know for a FACT you can.
If you don't believe in you - I do, until you can again. I have your back, I promise.
You can do it, you can make a dent

So stop reading this and go do that thing you will one day be famous for and when you get there - look at that person who asks for your advice and tell them they can do it to.

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