Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Did you get the letter?


Did you get it? Did you get the "letter"?
You know what letter... that letter some long lost friend/coworker/family member sends you the week before Christmas... The one that tells you right there in BLACK AND WHITE just how awesome their lives are?

Oh, I know that letter! 
I grew UP with that letter! 
My family LOVED that letter!

Why?

Because my extended family is nothing but a pile of gossips and we'd read "Tom just got into college!"
And then find out - "Through an out reach program up State!" 

No one is perfect - so why lie about it? You just have to look in the media to see how that ends up. Most of our problems would be solved in this work if we were just honest.

BUT THEN ALL THE FUN WOULD BE GONE!!!

I don't believe that... I think it would be more fun because you'd spend less time trying to figure out what the hell is going on. And then you could write a letter... For a few years I wrote a letter. It was my bad attempt at humor. I divulged secret fetishes and made up problems about my siblings. It was divine. (granted they weren't amused... but I sure was!)

People get so serious around the holidays! Who bought what for whom. How many gifts did so-and-so get. How much time was spent with what person! We should all just be happy! We could be dead! We could live in a world that doesn't have the Internet! OR WORSE... SEX!

No one wants that... no they don't...
Well I don't.

I like the internet
AND 
I like the sex

If I didn't have them... well, I'd just be cranky all the time.
Where's the fun in that?

MERRY CHRISTMAS! NO GO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE!

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