Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Yoga me this....

The general fact that I keep having numerous nervous breakdowns these days is nothing I would (or should) write home about. What it comes down to is that I'm letting myself get the better of myself... That's not very clear is it?

Over the past 1+ year I've taken pride in the fact I can spend large quantities of time "sans gratis" (if you will) other people. Yes, on one hand you can say this is not completely true, my online addiction is just short of my chocolate addiction - but over all I like to think I've learned to control my brain well enough that I'm at a point in my life I can be alone for any given amount of time and not freak the hell out.

That said - I keep crawling inside my brain and verbally accosting myself over nonsensical issues I haven't any power over.

This is overly irritating and it's starting to piss me off.

My latest beef with myself? My teaching abilities as a yoga instructor. The simple fact is that I'm new in this arena of life, add to that I've never really taught before, the whole situation is newer than the iPad.  Yet still I feel it's okay to berate myself a failure over a lack of experience.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  My logical side of the brain laughs at the other side in a mocking tone and all I can think is that I need to meditate longer and harder.

Or drink.

I just want to have a moments break. I just want to read my book. I just want to stop posting blogs about what I want... HA! (ok - no I don't).

I've had a pep talk. I know I can do it.  I even have a class lined up. Now I just need a location and a student body willing to allow me to attack them with my yoga prowess.

So, if you're willing to allow me to put you into an inverted tree pose... you know how to contact me!

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