Friday, March 12, 2010
Writing, breathing and meditation
I'm very proud of myself and after I'm done here I'm going to get back to it. Back to tapping keys and making pretty words so that one day you can pick up a copy of this gem at your local mega book store. (or buy the ebook)
Chaos is a fabulous thing that acts as a whirlwind in my life. It's like a tiny tornado that lifts me off my feet and whirls me around until I'm not sure where I end or life begins.
I start teaching on Monday - this is a beautiful thing and I feel I may burst at the seams just thinking about it.
My son is getting better at walking - as long as he can hold on tight to my hands. I can't say I mind. I like when he holds on tight to me, because I can hold on tight right back.
My husband is writing again - this is so very thrilling. Writing is the thing that brought us together. It's the reason we ever even spoke at all.
The week's move so fast and this pay check to pay check life is wearing to say the least but, still, most days I'm happier than I ever was when I could just drop $200 cuz I was bored. Which I was a lot.
That all said - I'm feeling a bit disconnected these days.
I need to meditate.
I used to do it every night - now I don't. Now I say I need to meditate, and I don't.
Tonight I pulled out my book, the book I first meditated from and tonight - after the writing that will be coming next (:)) I'm going to go meditate. You should join me. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do and it's one of the most worthwhile.
Kinda like kids!
Actually, it's just like that. Those thoughts in your brain that you collect from day in and day out of living life just collected like rain drops in a bucket - and when you pay no attention to that bucket, sooner or later it's going to over flow. So you sit down and meditate - you sit and watch those drops of rain and decide which ones to keep in your bucket and which ones are just muddying up your brain.
Looking that intimately at yourself is hard.
But let me tell you this.
Once I looked at myself so closely, like I was watching to make sure my son doesn't chew on electrical cords... (it was a long day) you can do other things.
Since I started meditating I've reestablished relationships with old friends - one of which I've known since I was 7 - we talk nearly every day. Another I've known for 10 years. And I just made a new friend by chance on Facebook of all places.
Me. Miss "I only talk to the people in my group"
I went back to school to become a yoga instructor.
Me. Miss "You'll only see me running if somethings chasing me"
My butt and so many other things have chased me.
It started here.
It moved to meditation.
And who knows what's next?
So give it a try.
Breath in and out and count to 10, like this:
Breath in - 1 - breath out
Breath in - 2 - breath out
If something pops into your head - note it and just let it pass.
It'll all be there when you're done. Trust me.
With each long deep breath in think LET
With each long deep breath out GO
Time to write - time to meditate - time to let go...