Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Woopsie! Life moved to fast this week!

Look at me dropping the ball on Meatless Monday... Don't I feel like a dork!

SO - MEATLESS TUESDAY! (brought to you by me - Ms. Weekly Adventures)

I found this great article I thought I should pass on. It's all about how to "veganize" your FAVORITE recipes. It gives you substitutes to use for different dishes and desserts, which is always nice. You can read about it here...

Seeing that I dropped the ball I'm going to give you a delicious homemade BBQ sauce recipe you can whip up right quick for this lovely 4th of July holiday weekend and then take the time to work on a decent "Meatless Monday" post that will be posted on (or before) next Monday.

DE-lish BBQ SAUCE

1 Cup Ketchup
1/2 Cup Molasses
1/4 Cup Vinegar
1/4 Cup Dijon Mustard
2 TBSP (vegan) Worcestershire Sauce
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1/4 tsp Tabasco

Combined. Let it sit for at least 24 hours (the longer the better) then EAT IT! 
NOW... If you're me and you really want BBQ Sauce and you don't have any in the house an you look at that recipe and you don't have exactly what they list - you can do this:

1 Cup Chili Sauce
1/2 Cup Molasses
1/4 Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 Cup Spicy Brown Mustard
2 TBSP (vegan) Worcestershire Sauce
1 tsp Onion Powder
1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1/4 tsp Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce

And you know what...?? It's still darn delicious! Next time I think I'm going to use Apple Cider Vinegar and we'll see about the other ingredients. My cupboards are rather bare... (seriously, but an eye pillow already)

Outside of that I've been distracted lately. Too much on the table has ran me thin and I'm behind on regular tasks (and annoying people I've promised that I'd do things for them that I haven't done because I never have the time to do things because I'm doing too many things... does any of this make sense?)

Today I was attuned to the first level of Reiki, this means I can now heal you besides coax you into a lifestyle of meditation, contemplation and exercise. (I'm weighing my options on a few other things but we'll see... I'm not even ready to reveal it to you... my dearest confidants... all those millions of you out there.)

I've been working hard on my book but every time I find a moment to write life comes at me fast and not in a funny commercial way - no, in a "suck all my spare time out of the day" way. I'm headed there after this. But it's hard because no matter how many times I say, "This is important" I'm made to feel guilty that I'm neglecting things in my life and then I feel torn.

Torn between this reality that I'm not 100% fond of an my dreams I refuse to give up on.

This has been coming up a lot as of late. "Dreams v Reality" I pick dreams every day of the week. I want it to be my reality. I want to hold my book in my hands and say to myself, "Go you. You did it, sweetheart."

That said, I bit you adieu. I need to write, before it's too late.

Good Night
-A

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Gossip

Gossip.
We've all done it.
Some of us build our lives on it.
In general I hate it.

I chose the above picture because it was the only one I could find (not that I look super hard) that had both a man and a woman, because in my life, I know more men that gossip than woman.

It is what it is.

But this is me barking at the crowd for tonight. I think when you get to a point in your life when the only thing you have to talk about is someone else's life you should really take a moment to sit down and look at your own. Obviously you don't have much going on to have that kind of spare time.

Gossip.

It seems harmless but let's be honest, if you have to say something in a hushed tone because you're afraid someone may hear what you're saying - you probably shouldn't be saying it in the first place. People's lives, especially when they're in a spot that is going to hell in a hand basket lite on fire, are their own and the last thing they need is to show up somewhere and hear people whisper and point.

I've been trying to stay out of gossip. Most days I'm good. Some days I'm not and then I feel terrible for the rest of the night because what if it was me who was being discussed. Because it has been me before. Rumors and lies build up on gossip about things no one could possibly have understood.

So the next time someone passes you a juicy tidbit stop for a moment and put yourself in their shoes, or if that doesn't work, put someone you love in their shoes and then be the bigger person that doesn't pass it on. And, by the way, that applies to the "I can tell my spouse" rule. Because it doesn't change what it is, it's still gossip.

And I'm pretty darn sure you can find better things to do with your spouse when you two are alone in your bedroom at night. And if not, maybe that's the real problem.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Meatless Monday, Oil Spill news, & some things that just erk me!

Welcome to my next edition of Meatless Mondays here on "Weekly Adventures of an Ordinary Girl."

[If you follow this here link it will take you to the actual Meatless Monday website! **Note: The views I hold and the topics I discuss are solely mine and mine alone and shouldn't be reflected on anyone else, like the people on Meatlessmonday.com.**]

Starting the week off with no meat is just the way to go!

"But I love meat!" That is great. I'm not sitting here judging you. You may think I am, but alas - I judge you, you judge me and then everyone hates everyone - which is a waste of time.
All I'm saying it take ONE DAY - no need to make it Monday, I mean, Mondays stink in general, but maybe you're is Meatless Tuesday or Wednesday, I think you get the picture. Because ONE day a week laying off animal products is actually good for YOU. Good for your heart and your over all health.

Besides the things we know, "red meat is bad for my heart" there are also some recent studies that have found a possible link between the prion proteins (which are found in Mad Cow disease) and the onset of Alzheimer's Disease.

So if you're not one of those people who want to look at it from the animals point of view, fine, look at your husband, wife, girl/boyfriend, lover, child, mother/father, neighbor, friend and then look in the mirror and ask yourself this... am I worth it? Because I think you probably are.

The recipe I chose for today is an Ethiopian Spicy Tomato Lentil Stew that should look a little like this:

(a.k.a. - DElicious!)

(The following Recipe was found on the Post Punk Kitchen website - www.theppk.com)

Equipment:
Large heavey soup pot
Another pot with lid for boiling the lentils

Ingredients
1 cup brown lentils
1 large yellow onion, diced small
2 carrots, peeled and diced
4 cloves garlic, miced
2 tablespoons fresh ginger, grated
1/4 cup peanut oil (vegetable oil will do)
10 plum tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup tomato paste
1 cup vegetable stock or 1 cup water + 2 veg boullion cubes
1 cup frozen green peas

Spice Blend:
2 tsp ground cumin
2 teaspoons hungarian paprika
1 teaspoon ground fenugreek
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon ground cardomom
1/4 teaspoon ground coriander
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt (or more to taste)

Directions
Boil the lentils for about 45 minutes or until tender.

In a large pot, over med heat saute the onions and carrots for 10 minutes. Add the garlic, ginger and spice blend. Saute 5 more minutes. Add the chopped tomatoes, cook 5 more minutes. Add tomato paste and mix, then add the water. Simmer Until bubbling. Add the cooked lentils and green peas, simmer 15 more minutes.


Bet you'll never guess what I'm having for dinner... ;)

If you are at all interested in the "Green Movement" or Learning more about becoming Vegetarian or Vegan here are some likes for you:

  • Green Mom's Carnival - Talk about her time turning green and advocating an organic lifestyle. 
  • Vegan Show and Tell - this blog is pretty rad. You should see it on my blogroll, because once I found her I decided I just needed to keep reading. The blog is dedicated to the lifestyle of a decade long vegan. With lots of tid-bits and fun recipes, it's totally worth a look.
  • Bit of Raw - this is also a blogspot blog. Filled with little things that will make your life simpler as a vegan, vegetarian or someone who is looking to go Raw in their diet.
  • Vegan Health [dot] org - A very good resource if you're starting out or need a reminder of how to be healthy and a vegan/vegetarian. It's very easy to eat crap when you don't know what you're doing. Remember: Being Vegan doesn't mean being healthy. You need to be sure you're getting all the nutrients you need and before you take the plunge you should talk to your primary doctor (or if you're me, your ob/gyn) for guidance. 


Other news:

BP has put aside a few billion dollars just to pay off people who will be getting sick and dying from the record breaking oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. (sounds a bit to me like "And the Band Played On" - if you're not familiar. When the AIDS outbreak happened it made more sense to some to just pay off people that were infected from HIV/AIDS blood transfusion than test the blood. No joke. Oh, capitalism.) 

BP had to shut down their attempt to fix this travesty they created last last week when one of their ships was struck by lightening. (God - 1, Humans - billions and billions of dead animals and wild life)

If you're looking for more information - Al.com (Alabama's website) published an bunch of articles on their site and they're all worth the look. 

Also, tonight on CNN, Larry King will be hosting a 2 hour marathon in order to raise money for the victims of the Gulf Oil Disaster. (go here for more info.)

Isn't she cute?

Moving back to the animal thing that I love to talk about so much. This past week The Cleveland Scene printed an article called "Having a Cow" the reason I'm bringing it to light is because I'm not a fan of the tone. The article opened up speaking about Middle Age Women "swooing" over Wayne Pacelle, the CEO of the Human Society. I'm not sure what Mr. Pacelle's appearance has to do with animal cruelity but hey, I will openly admit half way through the article I began to nod off. 
Yes, it's rude, but let me just say this - WTF? The whole article (or what I've read of it) centers around the appearance of the people who are trying to tell you that the animals we (a generic we) are consuming are ill treated and abused.

"They're gonna die anyway! Who cares?"

You should, because you are consuming poorly treated animals, which means what they do or don't eat, what is shoved into their body's will be ingested into your body.

Drink Milk? You're drinking pus. This is not something made up to make you angry - it's a fact. 
Your side of beef look fresh? Chances are it's because there is dye in it

Someone commented on the Scene's website that people just don't understand farming. I say we haven't farmed in this country for years. We turned our animals into machines and when they don't do what we want any longer we toss them aside. 

Yes - there are some animal rights organizations that feel the need to get all up in your face to tell you how wrong you are and how you need to listen to them. 

I'm asking YOU to dig deeper. You tell me. You go out there and tell me what you find. I'd love to hear from you. Hell, send me pictures of what you find! I mean, I already threw up in my mouth from going to the pus site. 

There's more to life than knee jerk reactions to ideas that don't fit the life you're familiar with. You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for - go out there and look for the truth, because it's not going to be handed to you. The media hands you ratings - and if the truth won't get those ratings... *shrug*

Moving on to news about my life -


(the picture just made me laugh so I thought I'd share...)

Surprisingly we didn't with the www.pitch.co contest. Seems when you enter only the day before the voting closes you don't receive enough votes! LOL. Next time! But now we (my friend "M" & I) have this great idea pretty much planned out. So when we have a chance to get to getting we can start looking for investors to get MyHealth off the ground.

I'm also working on my own Yoga website which, I hope, will be up soon, but right now I've been concentrating my time on writing. I'm over 250 pages and I'm going to go write some more.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and that you will, for your own self, give up meat for one day. Trust me. It's worth it. 

Sunday, June 20, 2010

This is about L.A.


This is about L.A.

Back in 2000 I met my husband. At the time he was the boy friend of my assistant manages's older sister. There were only a few things I knew about him. I knew he loved to write, I knew he loved film, I knew he was super tall and I knew he made me uncomfortable. (Not in a bad way. In a way that was unnerving. E.g. If he stopped into my work I often left for my office because I would get all tight in the chest. I've come to realize this paralyzingly sensation was the foundation of us.)

I too was and am a I big fan of reading and writing, so my coworker (whom I'll refer to simply as K) introduced us. He had written and was shooting a film, he wanted me to be in the film. I said no. I'm not an actress. So we started talking writing and film. One day we could work together.

Moving forward I left my husband (because it was a bad match) and he left his girl friend (also not all it was cracked up to be). We found solace in whining to each other.

Our lives were over. We would never love again.

Then we made out.

In the beginning we did the normal dreamy new couple thing. Discussed our dreams and fantasies. We wanted to go here, we wanted to go there. Places what were listed included Egypt, New York City (I really do love New York) and... you guessed it! L.A.

Now it's 2010. We have a son. We have a mortgage. He has a job he hates. I just became a yoga instructor. But we still like to dream, we still love to write and we bothove movies.

Back in 2008 my hubby went to L.A. to visit a life long friend of his. I was 7 months pregnant and stayed home. Then on 2009 we both went - and as we stood there staring at FOX Studios (a.k.a. Nakatomi Tower in Die Hard) and then later standing in a balcony in the Hollywood Hills my handsome hubby looked at me and said "Lets do this. Let's move to L.A."

So we are.

Next spring we're going to take the plunge and follow our dreams. You WILL see my novels in the book stores and you WILL see his name on that big old movie screen.

Yes, some say it's smarter to just stay, that we could and/or will fail. I won't have any of that. No. Life isn't about being safe. Life is about living.

And we will in sunny SoCal. So I hope you will support me and my family in this move. Our family and friends are important to us. We love you. But this is important to us too and I would like to think next March when we have a party to say good bye, you will be there.

And I hope you'll send us all the love and support we need to do this.

Thank you for being so wonderful and understanding to say go for it! I will be here regardless because, well, I got me a iPhone and a laptop with wifi. Yes I will move, but you can't get ride of me that easy.

Love you all
-Aryn



Thursday, June 17, 2010

Before you go, go

I made the decision the other day to do two things - write and train for a marathon...

(Now ask me about my thighs. Holy hell are they sore.)

These decisions came to me as I fell into another one of my ever so glorious self deprecating moments. Sitting, listlessly on my couch as I conceded to succumb to the nothings I like to list as my life achievements, I had a kick in the ass. It came in the from of a blog (shocker) and here is the post.

Granted, it didn't hurt that the last 4 or 5 yoga classes I've taught were met with euphoric rounds of applause. (Each class I received calls, texts and/or emails telling me how great it was. Yes, that is me floating way up there.) Added to that my teacher, has been calling me asking me to sub for HER. WOWZERS! Honestly, what is more gratifying than your teacher asking you to sub for her? Not much.

This moment is great.
With the cat out of the bag about us moving, added to relishing in my teachers indirect compliments mixed with the direct ones of my students on top of the 61,000 words I have laid down on the path to (finally) finishing the first draft of my novel, and not forgetting the intense workout I did yesterday in preparations for a 1/2 marathon in September...
Yes, this is a good one.

....

Now, to comment on the fact that I only have 52 days left of my year long meditation of me learning to be me to the point I'm comfortable enough to die at that moment...

I suppose mostly I am.
I have yet to write those letters. I think I'll do that tonight. I slept poorly due to them not being written last night - out of the blue they popped into my head...

52 days... how fast time flies.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Meatless Monday, MyHealth.co, World Cup, Working & Writing - a.k.a. MY LIFE

It's the phenomenon that is sweeping the nation! (at least it should be) MEATLESS MONDAY! How great is this? I was discussing the whole lifestyle of a vegan/vegetarian when I went out on Friday with some of my friends. You see, I do it for the kids, meaning the animals. That is my reason for being Vegan/Vegetarian. But there are other reasons to do the whole "Meatless Monday" change of life.

Weight and Health!

So try it! Once a week, don't eat meat. It's not that hard. (Trust me. I just feels hard because it's what your used to. In the end though, it will make you feel better and you will be better off for it!)

In honor of Meatless Monday I'm going to post a FABULOUS recipe for you that I found on this wonderful Vegan blog (called Vegan Yum Yum. There is also an app for it.)


SINCKERDOODLES!!

(Yummy, yummy cookies)

You will need:

1 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Earth Balance (vegan butter substitute)
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Prepared Ener-g Egg-Replacer Egg
1 1/2 Cups Flour (non-bleached)
1/4 tsp Cream of Tartar
1/4 tsp Baking Soda
Cinnamon Sugar for rolling


Cream sugar, Earth Balance and Vanilla extract together. Prepare the Ener-G Egg by following directions on the package instructions ( 1 1/2 tsp powder whisked with 2 TBSP Hot Water until foamy), add it to the Earth Balance and Sugar Mixture.  Whip (or whisk) it all up until it's light and fluffy!

Whisk the dry ingredients together. Add 2.3 of the dry ingredients to the whipped mixture and whip until combined. Add in the remaining flour and mix by hand. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour. 

Preheat oven to 375*

When dough is chilled, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Using a #40 ice cream scoop, make balls of dough (each ball will be made with 2 TBSP of dough if you don't have a scoop). Roll each ball in the cinnamon sugar. 

NOW SQUISH THEM! Using a fork (or whatever you want), squish the dough into cookie shapes.

Bake at 375*F for 10 minutes for chewy cookies, 12 minutes for crunchy. Remove from oven and let sit for 30 seconds. They'll be soft with they come out of the oven, but that's just fine! Gently remove cookies from the baking sheet and let cool for a few minutes on a wire rack before serving. 

[Here is the link to the Vegan Yum Yum blog and this recipe - I just copied it. Why mess with perfection?]

Moving on...
It's that time of year! Normally you won't hear me talk sports. I leave that up to my friendly Sports Bloggers (The Beezewax, The Panthers Playbook,  3rd Stone from the Sun - just to name a few) But I actually watch a lot of Soccer (aka Futbol), at least I did before I had to cancel the portion of my cable because of cost and seeing that I'm American means its not on any other channel... 
SO! The World Cup means I can watch some awesome matches on my couch not on my computer!

Saturday England vs US - it ended in a draw, which a lucky thing for us old Yanks... but I still feel back for England's goalie... that just had to sting. If you don't know what I'm talking about - here's a recap.



Moving on. In my everyday normal life (if you can call it that) I went for a retail job interview last Wednesday. It was 7 minutes long and I didn't get the job. This kind of stinks because I'm a fan of food (hence the recipe) and paying bills.... OK, so I'm NOT a fan of paying bills, but I AM a fan of not having creditors call me daily - which they do. 

So I'm looking for online jobs now because I'm trying to keep my son close for as long as I can. There are only so many years I can just squeeze him before he starts saying things like, "Mooommmmm! People can see you!"

But the money thing is also important because my husband and I have decided it's time to get out of dodge (cleveland) and move the fam cross country, to L.A.


I apologize if this is your way of finding out we made this decision. I know we haven't been able to contact everyone we care about, but I've been dying to make this announcement for a LONG time so here it is!

Our set date is next Spring - so we can raise the funds to get there... Feel free to donate (look to your left) we would all be greatly appreciative in the "Weekly Adventure" house hold!

This move has hurt/angered a few, but when you have a dream I think you need to go after it. After knowing my husband for less than a month I knew he wanted to move to L.A. - it's been close to 10 years now and it's time. I can do my yoga/writing thing and he can work on his writing TV/Movie thing and I think that's awesome. Scary, yes, but awesome none the less.

I hope you all will support us on this move - all the good vibes we can get! THANK YOU!



Beside that a friend of mine and I decided to give another dream a go.  It's called My Heath and we are pitching it on Pitch.co. This is a contest where if we win we'll receive $50,000 in start up funds to make it work. We need votes!!! And yes, this is me asking for your help AGAIN!! (promise to get your back!)
Just follow this link - http://pitch.co/entry/57609 - and vote for us. Or at least go on and read what we're about!! 

As for writing, I'm still trying... I'm at a bit of a lull in my story and I need to go back and rework some stuff, which feels like suicide to me. I think I should finish the fist draft and then just do a massive over haul (advice/ opinion is much welcome in this and all topics of this post).

I hope the world is treating you all fabulously! I'm off to work on some freelance stuff before my son wakes up and then it's bye-bye computer time for me!

Can't wait to hear about your adventures!!

KISSES!
~ME



Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hey! Do this and you'll get rich!


I applied for a job today that would pay me $9 an hour and is across two (about 20 minutes away). If I get the job I will work at least one weekend day... ah... it's a means to and end but still.

The only time that its hard is when my son wraps his little arms around my neck and holds me so tight because he doesn't want me to leave.... it kills me softly and slowly.... but what can I do? I teach yoga. I have an at home job (it doesn't pay much). I'm not a "secret shopper" who hasn't shopped yet, with the pay being (mainly) the items I buy I need to be picky.

Plus starting my own "yoga party" business. (live around me? wanna throw a party? CALL ME NOW!)

I told my sister today that each day feels like a week because so much happens by the time I get to here. The part that is killing me is I haven't had time to write. Not my book. Not on here. Not even in my journal. I get into bed so dead to the world all I can think is, "OK! Tomorrow, start working on your class. Type up those forms. Work on logo and fliers. Pull out more things for garage sale. Take child for walk (or to the car museum so I can hear him say "Mama! Car! WOOOOOWWW!") Try to read. Try to write. Teach husband yoga. Bath him, feed him, put him to bed. (Same for the child)... then... oh crap! CALL ABOUT EYE PILLOWS!"

It's worth it.
It will all be worth it.
When my book is published.
When my son is fed and smiling.
When we have the money to move.
Then... then I'll relax.

Until the move.
Then I'll freak out and cry a lot. (beeze, you've been warned.)

Then I'll move to L.A. and start this all over... the only difference - January, February, March & April.

OK - TIME TO WORK!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

What ever happened to...

Back when I was a kid, from time to time you'd see one of these treasures on the road. Yes, I'm speaking about the painted vans out there - but back then I didn't realize they were a gift. Today I do.

I was driving to work tonight and out of the corner of my eye I saw this van that I thought had an awesome wizard-esk image on the side only to lower my speed to find it was rust and a door that didn't match.

I was sad.

What happened to the love of painting over sized wizards with lighting or safari animals on your cargo van?
Oh past... how I miss thee.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Life. It comes at you fast! (then tries to run you over)

I've come to think I'm one of the only people I know that didn't comment on the "holiday" yesterday. Why are there quotations around the word? Simple. I hear holiday and I think "Leisure time away from work devoted to rest and pleasure."

I don't file this as a holiday. I also think that every day we should be thanking the men and woman who fight for us. Yes, we have a quick way of sidestepping the ongoing war in the Middle East. Some times I think the general public thinks the last "war" we [the USA] was in ended when the Nazi's were defeated... I like this post. I think it sums it up.

Did I celebrate Memorial Day? I spent the day with my family melting in 90 degree temps and watching my teething child grow angry because eating hurts and there's nothing to do. If that's celebration than yes. But to me it was a day with the fam.

We've had a lot going on lately. My jaunt into a new career amidst this terrible monetary climate was a bit like standing on a short pier and trying to walk to Canada from the shores of Lake Erie. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching but I need to find some sort of income that will allow me, and my family, to eat.

And I'm pretty sure the electric company would like me to pay them. (and all those other pesky utility companies too) - so if you know of a job that needs to be filled, please let me know. PLEASE, please, please, let me know.

Begging is pretty.

Most of the holiday weekend was filled with hot weather, job searches, ill attempts at BBQs (again, the child wasn't digging the heat - or the weird people. I wasn't digging the smoking around my child.) Outside of that we decided to finally watch Coraline. (Great book - terrible movie)
Its come to my attention that Neil Gaiman's books just don't translate too well. I read Coraline in 3 hours, it's a kids book and it was great and the movie was just B-O-R-I-N-G. How does that happen? How can you take something fun and creative and make it dull and the best sleeping pill I've had in ages?

Things like this pop into my head when I'm writing. Then I get paranoid and I have to stop myself from throwing the towel in. I'm at 230 page (probably a little more. I have some stuff to transfer over) and I need to get moving on it, but the time seems to be eluding me these days.
Having a toddler, a house that needs to be cleaned all the time (one day someone will have to explain to me what the hell dust is and why it resents my television set), finding a new job, working on the eye pillows, writing up and teaching yoga classes three days a week, teaching my husband at home, bills, garden, shopping, doctor appointments (went to my "yearly" girl visit and now I have to go for an ultrasound and blood work) - get my next blog idea all together....

and the "move" that is being announced to the world over the next week....

socializing, friends coming home to visit, weddings, pets... BLURG! and sigh... I just want to write, meditate, hold my son, eat, yoga and have some alone time with the mister.

When did things get so complicated?

I like to think life is easy.
I tell people that. "It's easy, if it's not you're thinking too hard."
I'm thinking so hard my heads going to explode.
I find myself falling back into bad habits that eat up time and train my brain on things I don't need to be obsessing over because once I start - hell knows I won't stop until totally destruction of my own psyche...

Sunday night my husband went out and I was all excited. I did some yoga, wrote and decided to take a breather so I did some bill (breather my ass) and then I started fixing up the old resume, posting it online, applying for jobs... then that led to a near nervous break down - mad attempts a meditation to calm down and then finally... more writing and sleep.

Life move fast - I try to remember that when I get stuck in these shitty moments. One day I'll look back and think "Crap. At least its over." Because it needs to be over. I'm tired of living like this and I'm tried of begging for food and I'm tired of praying that they won't shut of my heat. I'm tired of praying for everything.

My faith wans but its my faith in myself - this is worse because if you can't believe in yourself, who the hell can you believe in?

This wasn't meant to be a downer, but most times (and I mean nearly all times) that I come on here my life isn't planned out and my thoughts aren't organized. I just start with one idea and see where it flows.

I'm not angry at the world. I don't hate anyone or thing. I just want to get to a point in my life when I don't have to think "what's less important? Gas or Electric?" and then I will smile. I don't need millions. Just enough to get to where I want to go and set up house there.

Life isn't complicated.
Seriously... I'm just over thinking this...

p.s. - why do all the holidays in this country revolve around war & death? 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor day (started due to a terrible strike that killed a bunch of people) - I'm starting a new summer holiday - July 22nd "National W.A.of an O.G. - BE AWESOME Day!"

Don't worry. I'll make shirts.