Thursday, August 5, 2010

the end is near

Who are we but random people living out our lives. In this day and age we are more connected to everyone and everything than we have ever been, but still - we're no even close to knowing one another.

We talk and talk and talk about this, that and the other thing - we complain because we're tired, wore out used and then we forget the person next to us probably feels the same way. We forget that we may not be the only person that had a bad day.

The clock keeps ticking and ticking and ticking - the metronome of our lives counting down the second to the exact moment when this will no longer be an issue for us. The torch will be passed and then...

I'm not sure where I am right now. I haven't finished what I set out to do and I find that I'm inclined not to. I don't want to make amends because I don't feel I did anything wrong. Yes, I've been wrong - I've been a lot of things. Wrong is the least of my worries. But in this instance I don't feel I have anything to say.

"It is what it is" seems to be the mantra of this stage of my life, because you can't change the past and you don't know the future, all you can do is live this moment how you want to. And with my moments fading away I find that I don't want to reopen relationships with people just because twenty years ago we smiled a lot next to each other.

My memory is bad.
Maybe that never happened.

I want to say that when all is said and done the one thing I have, the one thing I've learned, is that life is meant to be lived - not watched. And with my "death" coming on Monday I'm happy. I'm happy that its not a real death, I love my son so much I don't know what I'd do, not that I could do anything.

So world, I'll tell you this. All that crap that's keeping you up at night... just let it go. Find that person you love and tell them that you do and enjoy your life, what ever that may be - just go for it.

I wish you the world.
xxoo
-A

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