Monday, August 9, 2010
Today I died - August 9th, 2010
What we learn from life can be numerous, but it also be missed. Concentrating so much on what happened to us in the past, how we were "wrong" and who is to fault. We cling to these moments in time allowing them to define who we are.
I cling to them allowing them to define who I am.
I see people from ten years ago and refuse to speak to them because so-n-so said I shouldn't when I was 16. Who really cares and who really knows?
I believe the things that come to us in life, good and bad, are markers on our journey to our death - because that is the only place to go. So we have a choice. We can grow angry, point fingers, bring drama into our lives - or we can simply accept that life is what it is and learn to celebrate the things that deserve to be celebrated and allowing all the other fodder to fall away.
Today I died at the age of 34. Today I start the next chapter of my life.
At the beginning of this quest to look at my life and to tear it apart I opened a lot of well sealed doors and I'm happy that I've done it. Yes, there are things I didn't accomplish - but it's fine because I know now. I know a lot more than I did a year ago.
My head is much clearer than it was. I can see things in a better light and I know while certain things may not be for everyone, they are for me.
That old saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" is run down, over used and tattered from years of abuse, but still it represents this moment of my life. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and yesterday is just that - over and filled with people, moments, senses, food and beauty - amidst all the crap I choose to complain about.
I love my life
I'm happy that I'm me
And I can't wait to get on with it.
If you've been with me through this whole process, I thank you. It's been interesting to put it mildly, but I will say this. If you're at a cross road in your life and you're looking back over your shoulder at a life that seemed to fit you like the perfect shoe - and you know it's slipping away from you.
You'll be fine. Trust me. In the end, you'll probably be even better.
Hugs and love to all of you,