Friday, October 15, 2010

Rolling on

the affair I've been having with myself as of late has been wonderful, but alas, like all wonderful things this too much come to an end. Now... what does that mean?
Time to make the cuts. I really wanted to have my second draft done by the end of this month but due to some issue - mostly illness - I've fallen behind (and due to the how lazy I allowed myself to be for no reason, it's gotten worse) and that means I need to save the few words I have for the second draft...

I'm sure I'll come on here and vent at some point.
Tell you how I'm listening to The Morning Benders and how I have yet to hear Jenny & Johnny. Or maybe by the next post I'll some how be really into metal... you never know. I DID used to listen to Ministry... youth...

But it's for the better good because what it comes down to is this. Life. I talk about it often. In depth and off the cusp of whatever emotion I'm riding that day, but here is my lesson for the week. (and now I'm passing it on to you)

Sometimes we use changing the current moment as an excuse not to do the things we truly want to. We say things like, "But then I can't go see the game," or "But if I don't get a full 8 hours of sleep I'll be a wreck." We obsess on the things we feel we're going to lose. Moments in time that will pass by so quickly chances are we won't remember them - because you can't remember them all in the end, it's impossible.

BUT

It's a gamble and most days I'm not much of a gambling women, but in this I will be. Sacrificing today in order to have the tomorrow I want and the tomorrow I know I deserve I will give up writing on here all the time, I will give up television, I will write in the morning and in the afternoon and again at night. I will not go out more than once a month. I will work my butt off to finish this book - and that means this draft and how ever many I need to make it perfect, all the queries, the rejections and whatever I need to do - but this is what I want more than I've ever wanted anything.

I'll bet on myself that I can win because I'm willing to just do what needs to be done.
I'm a sure thing
   in a very good way

This is what I need to do because one thing I am tired of in this world that I call my little island is failing, giving up, all because of fear. I'm tired of giving up. I'm tired of half-assing my way through life because I know I'll just get by. And that's "ok" - it's not.

I'm tired of being disappointed in myself because I know I can do more but I won't - because Fringe is on.

So go listen to Elliot Smith, the Stones, ELO, Michael Franti, Rancid, Modest Mouse, Jimmy Hendrix, NOFX, Rilo Kiley, Fences, Joe Cocker, Muddy Waters, Frank Sinatra, Billy Holiday, Black Flag, Lou Reed, Op Ivy, the Pixies, Gerald Finzi, Mozart, Elvis, Elvis Costello and whom ever else you love - and love them.

I'm on a roll!

See you on the flip side! Off to write!


2 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. Trying to summon the energy to write when all you want to do is sleep off the ickyness is tough business. Keep on keeping on!

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  2. Thanks for stopping by and the encouragement!! Hope things are going well with you! Have a wonderful weekend :)

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