Sunday, December 26, 2010

Confidence is Key.

Having issues with my body my entire life, this is a topic I'm very well versed in. Some like to blame the media for processing images of females in a certain light that allows self doubt to fill young (and old) minds, forcing us to believe we are not good enough or pretty enough to be well liked.

I'm not alone in this slippery road of doubt. I have had many female friends and even male friends, that do nothing be put themselves down because they don't look like some body double that most people don't even realize is being used for the movie they just watched. (or the large amount of air brushing that has gone into all those images we see out there.)

Yes, over the years people have yelled and screamed about how it's unfair and that real woman, blah, blah, blah - but it goes both ways. Suddenly the people who are "hated" because they're not a perfect size 0 are making fun of the ones that are telling those woman they're not "real."

But we are all real.

Having a good body image is the foundation of having a good relationship with yourself. Being able to be naked by yourself out side of a bathing scenario is important too. There is nothing wrong with thing you're beautiful - just as you are.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I just read an article about having "self-esteem" about your body image and it just keeps bringing me back to this quote I heard last week. "In my day we didn't have self-esteem, we had self respect." I can't remember who said it, but if you're out there obsessing about your body (like I do ALL the freaking time) have a little self respect. You're probably way more than worth it. I know I am, yet I torture myself, even though I know I'm underweight.

Most days I love me. I really do like my body and I find the older I get the easier it is for me to love myself. When I was young I looked at medical operations that I could get one day so that I too would be "beautiful." I even told myself that I would marry the first guy that told me I was beautiful - I'm glad I didn't but I do remember the first man who told me I was beautiful, not "cute" or "adorable"  because I'm not a puppy, but beautiful. And in the next six months I had 3 other guys tell me the same thing.

Yes, that was the year I learned about how guys will call you beautiful if they think it'll help them remove yoru pants....

I'm 35 and still borderline naive. This used to bother me but then I realized it wasn't a bad thing because what we see in the world - the hate and anger and ill intention - is a bi-product of who we are. It's a reflection of how we see things. I don't look to people to tell them things to get my way - so when people do that to me I don't see it. Some can say this makes me less than intelligent but I'd rather not be well versed in the subtleties of manipulation, I'm to tired to waste what little time I have on screwing with someone to have them do what I want.

No - I'll stick with naive.
Naive with a side of self doubt - but I don't worry about that either these days because I know I'll succeed. As long as I work hard and stay true to myself I can do anything, I can succeed.

One day I will, I'll achieve all the things I want in this short life. I'll be published - as a novelist. I'll have a photography showing. I'll write, play and sing music - live - again. And most of all I'll stand naked in front of myself and I'll think, "hot damn, I'm beautiful."

because i am.

Confidence is key
have faith


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