Wednesday, July 20, 2011

but

I was laying in bed last night, blogging in my head.
I wish I could sit here right now and tell you I've figured out the solution to all of our problems, but alas... I can not. All I can do is keep going. Keep going and praying that things work out sooner than later.
I supposed I expect too much. Too much out of myself and the universe. I'm also sure that sounds a bit crazy, but maybe that's just who I am too. Crazy.
Ah - how that would simplify things.
Accepting my crazies in part as I try to accept myself as a whole.

It's like my life is a puzzle and I can't see the pieces because I'm that thin layer of image on crooked and curved slats of cardboard. Start with the sides first and work your way into the center.
The sides are the specifics - sell the house, find a jog
the center is the drive, new everything.

Thinking actually hurts these days. My attempts at meditation are weak- the villagers have torches and pitchforks. Lots of fire, lots of screaming and flying off the handle. It's out of control. How can I work towards anything else when I can't even control my own mind? See - crazy.
Plus that knock on the head didn't help at all either.

I can't help but thinking - often - how I need a break and I can't help but see - very often - how there is no room for one.

pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray
pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray
pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray

I'm trying to just let go - be the student of all those things I teach in my classes - but <=

BUT

The house is in order and we've already started to pack. Today I'm going to bake, looked for some freelance jobs and write. I think maybe I'll even go on hiatus from blogging and I know I'm going to from twitter & facebook. I'll revisit this world in a few days.

I need to let the villagers out before they set my hair on fire.
ttyl

2 comments:

  1. Get a good rest during your haitus. Do some things you love (like gardening?). Oh, and sick the gnomes on those peeps w/torches. Remember, they like to play with fire. :) Take care and have a nice break! We'll see you on the other side of it.

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