Friday, July 8, 2011

Tripping over myself, 'cause it's fun!

Sometimes if you look hard enough you can find anything you're looking for, but most times you find things you weren't looking for. Some good. Some awful. But that's what we do, or maybe that's just what I do. Search.

When I had my mini-nervous breakdown the year after my son was born I did a lot of questioning, even down to the "why are we here" which was always a party downer... well, for everyone else. (teeheehee)

I can't sit here and tell you why we're here, but I can sit here and tell you that there really is a purpose. We look at things in our lives and see them as road block. Getting in our own way because tripping over anger is much easier than taking a step back because most of us are busy and stuck inside our heads so much we can't even begin to comprehend moments that are, clearly, not in sync with our lives.

Basically, sometimes being human sucks.

We over plan so much of our lives that if there is a little hiccup we fall apart, and then we get in our own way because  "that's not how it was supposed to go." And it doesn't match the pretty pictures in our head. That "Master Plan" we came up with when we were 10.

I'm sadden the moments I have no choice but to realize just how human I am.
OK - that sentence sounds weird. Like I think I'm a god or something, which I don't, but it's easy to forget. Its easy to get caught up in the day to day and lose sight of one fact that is always true. It will all work out exactly how it should. Period.

We really have very little to no control over most things and when we try to grab on it just makes us miserable because you can't hold it. Life is air or water - you can see it, you can feel it but you can never hold it in your hand, especially if you're trying to clutch it.

***This message is a reminder to me, because when I see the tall order that stands before me I want to crumble and fall***

Ah - moving... Let's me say this... it's a hell of a lot better than being bored all the time!

good night
aryn

ps - whoever searched the discovery channel thing... yup... that's me!

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