Wednesday, August 24, 2011

October 12th

Well, I suppose I've been ignoring here. I think I've been ignoring a lot... not intentionally, but writing is so black and white... hm... Things are still moving forward, that's something nice to report. We have not sold the house, but we've had a few garage sales, and are still leaving so that's an accomplishment in my humble opinion! The date was moved back, but over all it's worth it in the long run.

October 12-15th - those are the newly set departure dates. Whole lot to do, but I have faith it will happen, and I do have faith. I've come to this conclusion that what is there to really worry about? I'm not worried any more. Everything happens for a reason and everything works out over time. If you really want something to happen, it'll happen.

If you don't
If you let your faith wane...
If you look for excuses

That's when it doesn't work.

The fastest way out is through - We've been at this for so long now it's become frustrating, but the reality is we're so very, very close to the finish line that stopping, giving up - that's what crazy talk looks like.

I'll tell you this, if you have a dream, if there's something you really want to do in life but you keep finding excuses, don't be afraid to persue your dreams because someone you know failed at theirs.

They're not you. Your mom, dad, brother, sister, best friend, girl/boy friend, husband/wife, lover, ex - all of them - are NOT you. It's hard work, but what in life isn't? Any relationship you have, regardless, is hard work. Anything that is worth having is hard work - easy isn't always right - sometimes it's just easy.

Yes, just because you can, doesn't mean  you should and just because it's difficult doesn't mean you should throw in the towel.

Have crazy nights with wake-up calls at 3am that make you think you're losing your mind, because you're not. Stress isn't always a bad thing and life is too short to sit in a cubicle collecting a paycheck because you're to bloody scare to let the safety net go.

One thing this economy should have taught you by now is that there IS no safety net.
If you're worried someone is going to judge you, know they are and say screw it anyway - and then realize you may be hyper sensitive to this course of thinking because YOU may be judging people around you. It's a defense mechanism. I've been there - I'm still there at times.
If you aren't following your dreams because of these things => money, insurance, housing, food, location, friend, family - think about it. Are they really your friends if they tell you that your dreams are worthless? Is a house really worth your dream? Does your local government provide FREE health care if you're below a certain pay grade (because most do)? Is it food? There are many ways to get food in your house for low to no cost, plus rice and beans = cheap and healthy.

What are your excuses?
You don't have time? Turn off the TV
Your significant other? Talk to them and explain what you want, bet they'll be ok with it.
Money? Research it - bet there's a way around it...

Yes, there are times it sucks. There are times that I cry, there are times I shut down and can't even THINK because if I do I freak the hell out and why? Because I'm scared.

I'm scared I'm going to fail
I'm terrified I'm going to succeed...

I'm scared of all the unknowns, but as the dates grow closer... as the tickets, cars, and trucks are ordered, boxes are packed, sales are had... As this all happens I can feel it.. right there in my belly and in my chest right by my heart...

Before I said I was TRYING to believe in miracles.
I do now. I believe the universe is looking out for me, my husband, my son. I believe it because I have met some amazing people and reconnected with some others who have shown me what it can be like. I believe because of the signs around me. I believe because the more I follow my heart and listen to my gut the happier I am.

I don't mean to avoid here, this blog, or my other one.
I don't mean to only post when I'm upset or scared or tired...
But I do mean everything I'm saying right now. Life is meant to be lived. If you are one of those people who say, "Oh no Monday is here again" and "Woohoo it's finally friday, now I can DO what I WANT." I think you should question why you're doing what you're doing at all.

The choices we make define who we are, what our life is and what we leave behind. If you don't like the life you have, choose to change it. And no 'but's.. thats an excuses.
You can miss TV
You can skip a beer
You can get a divorce, dump someone, etc
You can quit your job - in the end it's up to you.

Just you. And you know what? You really are the only person you live with your entire life, everyone else will come in and leave. Its just the nature of things. Nothing to be afraid of. It just is what it is, so why not be who you are?

We decided to take this week "off" and let all the stress slip away for a bit, so I'm going to go do that. I'm going to go watch TV with my son and not read and not write and not plan... I'm just going to be me in this moment and smile.

2 comments:

  1. Awesome! I love hearing you feeling so positive, dear friend. :) I hope you had the restful weekend you wanted, and I hope this one is even BETTER.

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  2. Thank you!! Sending you love!

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