Friday, November 11, 2011

The Soundtrack of My Life, "Gray or Blue - Jaymay"

With life comes love.
With life comes truth.

I've had many connections in my life. I like to joke with my friends that I was that girl that just kept falling in love, because I was....
I can't sit here and tell you the amount of times, but I know it was many and for just as many reasons. Yes, I have a type, we all have a "type" - but I think once in a blue moon - those types and those moments of smitten love tumble into each other and we suddenly find that person...

There they are. Right in front of you, and you know what? It's not that perfect night. The moon isn't shining. There weren't candies and there won't be flowers. But this time you can feel it in your gut - it's different. You're different.

You will remember many things in life. Heart break. Failure. Missed moments.
You will remember lust, the good kind that makes you toes curl and your mouth fall open - a pink tongue on your lips.
You will remember so much - and you will remember the moment you meet "the one."

The moment he walks up to you and you become so terrible uncomfortable that you have to excuse yourself. The moment they made you blush, and you never blush - ever.

There is a chasm between that moment of infatuation and when you finally - touch. Copulation of two bodies, and right AFTER that moment... then you know. As you lie there coming off the high. He's asleep, and you're just watching him and you think, "Oh God. What the hell did I just do?"

"I know the shape of your hands
Because I watch 'em when you talk
And I know the shape of your body
'Cause I watch it when you walk
And I want to know it all
But I'm giving you the lead
So go on, go on and take it
Don't fake it, shake it"

I remember that moment. It was after a roller coaster ride that was pushing me forward, and right into his arms. They were the wrong arms. Like I said... I knew it.

"Don't second-guess your feelings
You were right from the start
And I notice she's your lover
But she's nowhere near your heart
This city is for strangers
Like the sky is for the stars
But I think it's very dangerous
If we do not take what's ours"

We were both with other people, and they weren't right and he left just when I left and we cried a lot together. Sat on the phone for hours telling each other we'd meet someone and we were good people and that breaking up was terrible and it was okay... We would be okay...

We went to see Radio Head  -  crash... 
We kissed...
It's been 10 years.

"And I'm winning you with words
Because I have no other way
I'd love to look into your face
Without your eyes turning away
Last night I watched you sing
Because a person has to try
And I walked home in the rain
Because a person cannot lie..."

That wrong little moment that was never meant to be was the very moment that created this one. And it is perfect...

I give you Jaymay "Gray or Blue" (and to answer that... it depends on his shirt, but today they're blue)

p.s. this was the first movie we saw in the theater... how about that for odd - guess the song was meant to be. 


  1. A. I LOVE this song and B. I LOVE this movie. And, holy bejesus I LOVE this post! How was I not already following one of my twitter besties blogs? #Fail #Fail #FAIL on my part. <333

  2. Well at least you found it now!! lol.
    Thank you for reading and for being such a wonderful support though my low time... living without internet is a terrible, terrible thing... :(

    BUT I'M BACK!! woohoo!