Friday, November 18, 2011

The Soundtrack of my Life - "Sorry For it All" Dead Sara

Dead Sara is a local L.A. band that I recently found by googling things on my phone (in that very long void of time where I had no access to the internet... oh the pain...)

Can't say I know much about them. They just released their freshmen album, "The Airport Sessions" - and they're touring. (which is good - go see them).

Outside of that, the one thing I do know is that I like them.

This isn't the first song of theirs I stumbled on, but let's be honest. I'm a lover of all things that make my heart stir and hinder the threat of possible tears - and that is how this song made this list.
If you stop and listen to the lyrics you will quickly find it's all about being dumped. How terrible it is when the other person won't tell you why "it's not you its me" and exploring the heart wrenching feeling as that person leaves and you sit, soundless.

When I heard this song it made me miss being in a band - very, very badly.

When my band fell apart, because we never really broke up - we just kinda stopped practicing, playing... talking... we just went our separate ways. Recently I've bridged that gap and have begun talking to people from that long forgotten life. And that is good. You grow, you live, you screw up, you learn and you start again... that's life.

You see, being part of a band is very much like dating - but instead of you and one other person it's you and 3 or 4 or (if you're pfunk - 25) other people. Everyone has a view, an issues, an idea, a lyric, a rift... It's hard work to juggle all of that and to create and make something that's not a hot pile of nothing. And when you begin to let outside issues influence things - well that's a whole other blog post.

It's hard to write a song that makes someone who is in a happy relationship sit down and want to cry because you forced them to remember a long forgotten feeling - helplessness.

"This song is not for you, its for everything I wish I could be
Behind closed doors is where I stand, closed windows, one more chance...
And you are sorry for it all....
I can't, nothing is my fault."

Being an artist is part of me. Maybe I won't stand on a stage again (excluding karaoke) and sing my heart out. Maybe I won't write the next hit single or even one that 3 people outside of me, will listen to. But being an artist, being able to express myself creatively, is one of the most important things about me and it is one that I love.
I love to sit here at this computer and plug away - filling that void of white with little black letters - stringing them together until they make you feel something.

Because if we don't feel anything, then what's the point?

When I was told to use my words, I took them literal.
I want to be a rock star in novel form and feel the heat of the stage lights on my face again when I talk about my books.

I know what I want.

And some times that is as scary as not knowing anything at all... (but I don't plan on letting that stop me)

Please enjoy Dead Sara "Sorry for it all" - and please, find what inspires you.  No excuses.

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