I write better in my head when I'm walking down the street than I ever do sitting in front of the computer. Everything is much more fluid. Each step taking me to a new idea. Each crosswalk bridging the gap.
When I sit in front of the computer I find myself lost.
There are too many things to pull me away from my mind.
Window shopping for shoes I'll never buy.
By the time I climb on here the thoughts are gone. (Which leads me to believe that weren't that great after all.) Yet the one thing I do remember is they are all about this move to Los Angeles. This "new" life in the city of Angels that has been filled with uncertain moments, new and odd smells (like that sweet smell of urine wafting through the air at the corner of my street), and a sensory overload of changes.
But change is good, right?
I will never sit here and say to you that change is not - even change the kind that feels like you're going to die as your heart is breaking, yes that too is is good change. It means you're growing - and personally, I like to grow. I love to change, I very much love to learn new things, have new experiences and meet new people.
This town is actually very amazing to me.
It's a giant stock pot filled with a million flavors that are the residence of this community. Each person makes it more of being uniquely L.A.
There is a pulse at the center of this town, a sublet heart beat that continues to push you forward even when you think you're standing still. Waiting for the light to change so you can cross to a park and then a idea hits you, followed by another one and another one.
This city lives and it whispers to me, "you can do more." "you will do more."
And I respond, "Yes, yes I will."
Maybe the direct reflection of that hasn't come to light yet, and maybe my magical moments that occur somewhere near Washington and La Cienega trail home with me so I can speak of all that is on my mind - but it will.
I can feel it.
That I trust, not much else, but that feeling in my gut - that one I know is right.