(please press play before you read - thank you)
Today marks day 97 in Los Angeles (barely a full rotation of breath) 97 days of holidays, visits, settling, writing, jobs, emails, banks, and Ohio screwing with my drivers licenses...
There are new road, parks, stores, people, "right" time to do things - and it all slowly molds the new path you will be heading down. (& a voice whispers "be careful for this is the future you never thought you'd have.") But it's a good path with tons of sunshine, the most amazing body of water I have ever had the honor of staring at, some wonderful people (some terrible ones too - suppose thats universal) and open ended possibilities that I didn't realize were even there.
Here is that place my dreams ran too when when I thought they had died, never to exist again. They had been waiting for me, patiently, by the seashore, arms outstretched, welcoming smiles that said - "It's about time Aryn... its about time."
97 days is a very short amount of time.
97 days is a very, very long moment.
You can change everything about you in 97 days.
You can learn what a stripped down version of your being will truly look like.
You can learn nude will never be nearly scary as naked...
I can't say what the future holds for me - I can't say what the future holds for any of us. I can say that I'm willing to find out, that I'm happier here, that I do miss friends - but I've also come to accept what the word "friend" means and realize how many people I've incorporated in my life that were nothing of the sort. (More like emotional vampires that felt the need to live off my hospitality and good nature.) I accepted that would come to light before I left - but I've also accepted that I am not alone and life changes and people are left out for good reason - if they're meant to be there in the long run, they will be there...
I suppose the only thing that I'm here to report is that life is going well, that we are happy, that I smile more, even on crappy days.
When I was a child and was asked the proverbial "what do you want to be when you grow up" question - I used to say "Happy" and learned over the years, that wasn't the correct answer. But now I know the truth is that really is the answer - I want to be happy.
I deserve to be happy
You deserve to be happy too
97 days is just under 4 months - its a blink of an eye - may as well do what you love and sleep better at night than just "play the game" so you can make face with people you don't even care that much for.
Cheers to the next 97 days, which will put is somewhere in the middle of April. As they say, April showers bring May flowers and you know what May flowers bring? My first summer in La La Land.
Follow your dreams people, there is a reason you have them and if they scare the shit out of you, all the better. Try even harder. Don't ever settle. Don't ever give up. Go out and LIVE, really live - do all those stupid things you're not supposed to do as an adult - make snow angels, go for sled rides, swim in the ocean, take a vacation just to relax, play tag, eat cookie dough - walk to the edge of a cliff and just STAND there knowing that down is forever and BREATHE.
And be happy
Tell those you love you LOVE THEM
don't give up because this moment is exactly how you planned it
hug too much
smile until your cheeks hurt
your 97 days starts now. GO!