Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Breaking up with Ohio




[please hit play]

Dear Ohio,

I'm sorry that it has had to come to this. I tried to be gracious and speak to you from my heart, but you're only hearing what you want to hear. You see California, you feel I'm making a mistake. You see California, and you're silently building your list of "I told you so" comments to use when I come crawling back to you - but here is the thing, Ohio - I'm not coming back. 

It's over. 

Yes, 35 years is a long time. I know that. I was there. We had some good times, hell we had some GREAT times, but we also had some really terrible times - grew apart - and became incompatible. You can see it, I know you can, but you're refusing to.

The old me would have thought that was sweet, but the new me sees it as a desperate attempt to revive a corpse that's been dead for over 4 months. It's not going to happen. You should have realized that when I up and move. You should have realized it when I chose to celebrate my birthday in Texas, rather than with you. You should have realized when I submitted my change of address forms and got the tags for my car.

How are you not surprised?

It was spoken of for nearly 10 years. There was warning. I gave you time. I gave you space, but here we are - again. So I'm done with the niceties. 

Its not me - it's you.
PLEASE move on. 
PLEASE leave me alone with California. We're happy! We have sunshine and blossoming flowers that smell like the most expensive perfume you can imagine. We have beaches and boardwalks. Surfers and farmers markets as far as the eye can see! We have vegan restaurants - ENTIRE restaurants, not just one side dish that is over cooked, for me to eat. (and in Silver Lake, there is an entire STREET of vegan goodness) I know that California isn't as rich as you are, but money isn't everything. I mean, just look at your school system... Remember when you starting point fingers, at least 3 are pointing back at you. 

The only thing you are showing me right now is how little you have actually ever cared about me, because if you did love me, even a long time ago, you would want me to succeed. You would be happy for me. You would be proud that I stood tall and made a decision, a hard decision, and moved forward with it.

Can't you see that?
Can't you even try to see past yourself to understand that this is me - happy?

This is the last time I'm saying this, Ohio. 

Good bye. 
I wish you luck in all that you do, but you have to do it without me, because I'm not coming back there.

I'm home. 
California is home.

Sincerely, 
Aryn



3 comments:

  1. Atta girl. Clean breaks are always the best ones. :) And I LOVE farmer's markets!

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  2. Best of luck and loads of love in your new home x x x x

    ReplyDelete