Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I think my head exploded...


To say there has been a lot on my mind lately would be putting it very mildly. Between my son being sick, trying to get to the DMV for new plates and a new licence, rewriting the opening of The Hope Saints (for the 5th time), trying to figure out how to write a query and not manage to throw myself off the Hollywood sign in an over dramatic - yet somehow an extreme poetic gesture, added to the normal BS of life that goes to the rhythm of bills, and jobs, and bills - oh my - I am, in fact, extremely tired. (oh, and yoga, how could I forget yoga?)

Seriously, how could I EVER forget yoga these days? From the beginning of 2012 it's been a non stop slew of controversy - which is terribly NON-yogic, but what are you going to do? Honestly, I'm going to be annoyed because if there is one thing I can't stand its drama, and another is people who miss the point of yoga. It's simple - asana (the postures) help you clear out the mind, because when you're not sitting on your butt, obsessing over all the crap in life you can't control - you're life becomes extremely easier and much better. It's that simple. The end. If you decided to become a yoga instructor to do anything other than help people, you missed the point. If you want to be the next big "yoga celebrity," I'm sorry for you because messing with other people lives because of your vanity and need of attention is deplorable.

And since I'm on topics of things that annoy me - PETA. <- they annoy the mother FREAKING hell out of me. Because an extremist, is an extremist, is an extremist, and their latest "If you strip down to nothing and promote yourself like an easy ass hoe." Is not only annoying, it's dumb. Oh ye who have such little faith in humanity that you feel you need to create such ridiculous propaganda...

Remember world! What comes out of OUR mouths is a direct reflection of US, not of the people we are talking TOO or (gulp) GOSSIPING about...

Here's the link to the "My boyfriend turned Vegan and F* me so hard, I needed a neck brace" article and video. Doesn't PETA know that neck brace sex is, like, SO '01?
Seriously, how many articles out there have been written by physicians about the links of diet to ED (erectile dysfunction disorder)? Here's one! Annnnnd... ANOTHER ONE! I could do this all day... but I won't because I have other things to do.

But life doesn't stop for stupid.
Well, life shouldn't stop for stupid - but still, people keep watching The Jersey Shore...

My writing life is... I don't know what my writing life is.
I'm at this point I want to print up a copy of my book, lite it on fire and throw it in the ocean. (But I can't, for environmental reasons... I'll have to purchase a metal trash can for this event and even then I'll have to find a purpose for the ash of the book, thus supporting a green lifestyle.) Forcing everyone I've ever known and loved to sign legal forms that forbid them from mentioning the name, "The Hope Saints" and then opening a small coffee shop that sells, tofu and chickpea salad sandwiches along with the perfect cappuccino. I will read the newspaper (on my tablet because killing trees is so, like, 20th century) and close for an hour in the afternoon when I pick my beautiful child up from school, bring him back to the shop, where he will do his home work before I close at 6pm and then take him to his father so I can go back  and teach a few evening yoga classes to my beautiful clientele. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful indeed.

Can you tell I've thought about this a few times recently?
Wanna see the building I picked out?
I'm not joking...

My husband said, "You maybe be frustrated, but at least you're not giving up!"


And there is the problem with my whole new business of a yoga studio / vegan coffee way of life- I'm not giving up on this STUPID ASS BOOK THAT IS TRYING TO KILL ME!! Kill me... and not softly either - like BLOWING UP BOMBS in my FACE kill me. But I'm not giving up. With an over active imagination like mine, what else can I do but write? Hey Universe - WHAT ELSE CAN I DO BUT WRITE?!!

TALK TO ME GOOSE! TALK TO ME!



This is what happens to me when my sleep levels are at a low and I'm cold and my throat hurts and sickness is covering my house like a shroud of turin - can you see it? My plight? Just hold the shroud up and if  you squint a little... yup! It's right there! Mass hysteria mingled with low self-esteemed sleep deprived paranoia.

I need a brownie.

Sigh... so I'm breathing... breathing... breathing....
In with the goooooooddddddd [inhale]
out with the bbbaaadddddddddd [exhale]

In with the goooooooddddddd [inhale]
out with the bbbaaadddddddddd [exhale]

I hate having a cluttered mind. It messes me up and makes me lose focus of what important in life. I lose site of my goals and can't seem to hear/feel my gut. It's the worse feeling in the world. 



and it makes me post too many photos on my blog...

I suppose I should put a sock in it.
It's time for lunch, and then this afternoon... Well, I need to write. HA!

Will there be no end to this lunacy? Probably not...

4 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I need to share two of my FAVORITE writing quotes with you!

    ”This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It’s that easy, and that hard.” – Neil Gaiman

    “Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” George Orwell

    But seriously, keep plugging ahead - you are SO AWESOME AND YOUR BOOK IS SO AWESOME.

    NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP. :)

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  2. I promise to never give up, but I can't promise not to get frustrated! LOL... it's just hard and I need to get over myself and laugh every now and then :)

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  3. LOL I TOTALLY get the frustrating part. Sometimes I like to smash things, not really...but I THINK about smashing things and breaking things and KILLING ALL THE THINGS. Ahem. I'll just quietly go sip on some tea now....

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  4. I, too, need to go drink my tea and calm... and not be sick any more... lol

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