Tuesday, February 28, 2012


To make slow; delay the development or progress; hinder or impede - that's what retard means. To be "retarded" or have a mental retardation suggests a person's mind works in a way that is slower than the rest of the world. But to quote Einstein, "We are all geniuses, but if you judge a fish on how well it can climb a tree, you'll think it's stupid."


When you presume you need to make decisions for the people in your life because you don't want to "put them out" you are implying they are slow, dimwitted, perhaps a bit retarded. You are shaking your head no to my last sentence, but in reality - when you won't give those around you to share their opinions, thoughts or to make their own decisions, you are taking away their right to be them and forcing yourself on them.


When you have known someone for an extensive amount of time and you say things that would imply they don't know, remember or understand - you are assuming they are retarded. Too slow to catch on to the actual situation. To impeded by life to possibly grasp it.


What you are doing when you "assume" or "imply" is telling everyone else about you.

You assume I don't have time - Chances are you're hard to part with your spare time which you feel you "never have" when in reality you'd much rather go out of your way to watch reruns of old shows then help a friend out.

You think everyone is judging you - Chances are you spend a lot of your free time (the stuff you still never have) talking about people behind their backs.

You speak of situations that you clearly know the other person has been at - Chances are you are feeling left out and you're being passive aggressive, and instead of being open about your emotions you feel the easiest way to get what you want is via a guilt trip.

That's actually retarded - a slow and hindering way to look at life and those around you.

The secret to happiness? Simple.

Take things with a grain of salt - meaning, take them as they come at you and allow them to roll off your back. Never hold a grudge. Never "hate" - hate is a waste of time, extremely selfish, overly stupid and extremely retarded.

Smile. At home alone? Smile. Taking a shower? Smile. Caught in traffic? Smile.

Don't gossip. Don't. Don't call it "venting" when in reality you just HAD to tell someone your neighbor is having an affair - it has nothing to do with you. It's none of your business. Don't pass on gossip, why? Most gossip is litter with lies and now you're a liar.

Dance. Dance at home. Dance at weddings. Dance in the isles of the grocery store. Someone looking? Who the hell cares!

Allow others in your life to have the freedoms you want in yours. Meaning, would you like it if I was making decisions for you? Probably not, so don't make decisions for me. Allow me to say no. Allow me to say yes. Allow us to have a relationship open enough that I feel comfortable coming to you when I need a shoulder or when I need to have a car dance party - and you really can't party with just one person.

Also eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep. That's it.

  • Don't assume [when that little voice in your head starts nasty conversations with people who annoy you, tell it to shut the hell up.]
  • Don't gossip
  • Don't hate
  • Don't take it personal
  • Realize you're not the only one having a bad day
  • Don't play the victim <- DON'T play the victim. 
  • Smile
  • Dance
  • Be Open

And don't assume I'll stick around if you're going to be like this with me. Save your guilt trips for someone else, I'm too busy dancing to pay attention.

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