Sunday, May 6, 2012

Never the twain shall meet

Have you ever read any of those "How to get people to read your blog" blog posting? I ask because sometimes I wonder if it's true - but then I remind myself, gimmicks are just that and I'm not good at them.

Never have been. Never will be. I blame ADD.

But the wonder is still there, because so is the doubt.
The "Am I good enough?" Question.
The "No you're not." Reply

And then the insecurities take over and you find yourself asking everyone you've ever know what they think about your blog - or whatever it is you're insecure about: How do I look in this? Does it read well? Do you think the flavors meld correctly? What about the shadows in this shot? Does my headstand look strong enough.....???

But there in the back of your head that little voice is yelling, "shut up!"

When people tell me they read my blog, I'm pleasantly surprised. I thank you for stopping in and checking out my madness, my adventures, if you will - for that is how I like to look at my life. No, I'm no currently raising money to climb mount Kilimanjaro, mostly I'm just trying to get by. That's the adventure of life - realizing what you need to keep close and what you need to cut loose - that is the adventure in your brain and your soul.

So maybe this blog isn't lined with awards.
So what?
To me it is because I started it 3 years ago when I was utterly depressed. Weighted down by postpartum and the new life of an infant. Some days I blogged 3 or 4 times about NOTHING - but I made it through. I made it past that rough patch, just as I made it across the country to life in L.A., just as I'll make it through and out of the query trenches.

I'm sure I won't leave unscathed.

An untouched life is not a life - it's a doll - it's a museum.

That's what life teaches you over the years. It shows you that all those cliche adages are true:
"You win some, you lose some."
"You can't always get what you want."
"Slow and steady win the race."
"If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Life's too short not to try."
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Don't <-

Don't care what others think about you, but appreciate those who care enough to stand by you.
Don't give up.

Try harder.
Work longer.
Realize that if it was easy, everyone would have it.

It's not easy. These adventures into the abyss that take me 25,000 steps outside of my comfort zone, they are scary and tiring and consuming - and maybe they don't include all inclusive vacations in Puerto Rico, but what the hay?  Do it anyway...

I started receiving my rejection letters at the end of last week.
That's where I'm at on this current adventure. I'm taking the shots to my armor plated helmet and vest, because it's what it feels like - you can say it doesn't bother you, but it does.

And for now I'll keep my head up high and keep moving.
What else is there to do?

"Most men die at 27, they just bury them at 72." -Mark Twain

that will never be me.


  1. I know I don't comment as much as I should (bad me, I know), but I read pretty much every blog entry you write, and I've truly enjoyed every single word.

    Keep it up. Soon those rejection letters will be acceptance letters, and even further down the road you'll get to be the one who rejects those who were too blind to see what they could have had from the start after they realize that you're a super-rich best-selling author.

  2. What a lovely blogpost, in picture and in words! And it is so true, for what do gimmicks gain but a momentary ooh or ahh.

  3. BW - I don't comments when I read blogs either. It's a bad trait for a blogger to have... lol.
    You'll be happy to know I plotted out the last book of the series today. The Hope Saints will be 4 books long. :)

    Alison - thank you for reading! Life is too short not to be true to yourself and be proud of yourself.

    Wishing you both a lovely evening

  4. You're right. Blog for yourself. Not for the numbers. It's the same way to write. Not to market or trend, but because deep down, this is what you need to say.

    I know how those rejections feel, but you'll get there. This is only the beginning.

  5. Thank you Stephanie! I miss you ladies... I need to get over to twitter and check in!
    Thank you for all the support and good luck with your edits! I saw you won't hear back till June!!

    sending you cyber hugs :)

  6. That Twain quote is brutal. I found you via Kerri Maniscalco's blog. As a fellow writer, I understand how the rejection in all its forms sucks. But at least we're not burying our dreams!

  7. This is true, and I remind myself of that fact daily. Rejection stinks - regardless - but this is the choice I made because all the others were wrong for me. Maybe my current work won't be the piece that nabs be an agent, but I can't stop, I won't stop and in the end that's what matters to me. Knowing that my passion for writing and success is stronger than the pain of rejection.

    Glad you found me! Love me some Kerri, she's a wonderful lady. And thank you for read! Good luck in all your writing!