Monday, May 20, 2013

School Bells Ringing! Family Adventures in Pre-School.

What is life all about? Oh, how esoteric of me.
I'm actually not on that quest, at this point I know what I want, and what I don't want - but life is never that simple, now is it?

I started this blog to vent nearly 5 years ago now, and in the recent years I've stopped blogging - which would be proof that my life has found a path less difficult than my old one. Life has become easier, and simpler, and now my baby is growing up, so all those late night blogs are nothing more than history.

Look how big he is!!

Oh, the ever changing world that is life...
I lived  for many years by myself, and then I got married (9 years ago this week), and then we had our boy. All small and adorable things, that, like all other children, is growing too fast. But in my opinion, all time moves too fast. I often talk with my husband about how 11 years have passed since we got together, and how we went from having this tiny little baby to a big boy at the crossroad of school.

School with its books, and school yard skinned knees.
School with its crushes, and after school projects.
School with it's piles of kids learning to play, to sing, to read, write, draw and calculate.

School, it's been awhile, it's so nice to see you again.

My son was (and still is, kinda) excited for school. I'm not exactly sure what he thought it was, but he loves to learn, and is a sponge just like everyone always tells you kids are. He's reading at 4 with very little assistance from my husband or me. He tells me stories, talks to me about far off lands. Explains the difference between dinos and draws on walls.

"Look, mama!! Look at my art!" (Look, buddy... look at my wall... grrr)

So when school started, we were all excited. He will learn new things, I will get a rest... blah, blah, blah, blah... and then reality hit.

I'm pretty sure I was sick most of the first day. (and the rest of the first week)
I was withdrawn, tired, and worried for about 120 hours straight. No sleep, because worry keeps you awake, but I kept telling myself - This is normal. All mom's (& dads) go through this. Everyone will survive.

I don't like this - I thought
You're being over dramatic - I told myself

My son cried, and cried (and cried, and cried). And then, one day he didn't - and that day he shoved a tree seed into his ear. This led to 4 or 5 doctor visits, and surgery - but we kept trekking.
Yet here we are.

Class begins at 9am
The teacher shows up at 9:04
My son says he wants to go home
The teacher says, Well there's the door
My son cries because he doesn't want my husband to leave
The teacher is so caught up, not being ready for school, my son chases after my husband. Where my husband finds him, just before running into the parking lot.

Yes... school.

So now I'm here -

I've been on a search for a new school for fall (oddly we don't want to send him back to this one. Weird, I know.) And found one that made both me, and my son feel like this:

But we missed the spot by 2 hours... (2!!!)

So now we sit, and wait some more. (For someone to move so we can go to the school we love.)

And that is why I asked at the beginning of this post, what is this life about? What lessons are we to learn to make or break us? How far will we go, or bend until it's too much or too little?

To say I've been outraged by this experience is putting the matter lightly, because there is no other way to feel when someone who is supposed to care for your child while you're away, simply does not. I can admit to being over protective, as I can admit to a lot of my own faults - but this is my limit. I shall bend no further.

I try to remind myself that life is still that non-obstructive path I've been lucky enough to set foot on, and this too shall pass - but it's not always easy. Right now is just pre-school, soon it will be kindergarden and then more and more and more. That is when I realize that this is not so much a cross road, but more a bridge to the next chapter of my life.

Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

Time to close this school door, and keep moving. 

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