Once upon a time, I was single - and then I met a boy. We hung out and did this and that - got married, started a band (or 2), wrote some things, worked on a movie, worked on a music video - and then we got pregnant.
Becoming a parent looks great on paper. You know, the pieces of paper that come inside every frame you've ever bought? Yes. There are smiles, a thousand hugs - usually a butterfly, or at least the sun is shining. And the world is perfect.
And then it happens. You realize you don't know shit.
You have never know shit.
And you being to wonder if you will ever know shit...
This would be where I've been for the last month or so. I. Know. Nothing. And, my hair is grayer because of it...
A few days ago, Huffington Post released an article - "The Latest Parenting Trend: CTFD" - a.k.a. - Calm the F*ck Down. And it is geared to the parents. It is geared to me.
Self-conscious and convinced I'm giving my child more complexes than the worldly knowledge that will allow him to succeed as a well balanced human adult in his life - I found it hilarious when I read the CTFD article. I'd quote it to you, but what's the point? The heading is all you really need. And if you need more, just realize when you're about to freak out about really lame things - like the fact that your kid hates ice cream (mine does), you should just CTFD.
Like I said, it was geared towards me. I firmly believe the Universe looked down at me a few times over this last month and finally was like, "Dude. She's gonna giver herself an aneurysm. We HAVE to do something."
I'm not sure when I cracked, allowing myself to get this stressed about everything related to my son. I know it has to do with the lack of preschool in his future (his old one didn't work out and I'm having problems finding a new one. And now it's mid-July. Yeah. Yeah... sigh...) And a week and a half ago I had my first big parenting issue, and I have been obsessing over it since then. (The short version is I had an issue with a teacher of my son's and my son's "spirited" energy.). My emotions have been up and down. I'm having problems sleeping, this in turn is exasperating the issues, and that has bled into other regions of my life - like writing, and the fact I'm not hearing anything about my submissions. (unless its a rejection - blurg + ugh = argh!)
So, as I read part of the first paragraph - because, like I said, you only need the title to get the drift - I stood back, and CTFD and realized that when I do I start to see solutions rather than only the aggravating problems.
At the end of the day, it has come to this - right now is just the beginning of all of this "parenting" stuff. And I can't possibly know all the right moves, because I've never done this before.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up for the Parenting Life, but I can say now - as long as I remind myself not to take myself too seriously - it will probably all be just fine. (hopefully)