Wednesday, August 21, 2013

once upon a time... a poem


[Once upon a time
is over played
we shouldn't say it
or use it
ever
yet still...]

Once upon a time
there was a girl
who thought
too much
she was sure
sometimes
but the doubt
over turned
the truth
so she hide
in the recesses
of her imaginary world
inside her head
shadows
choked the light
ominous music
misheard comments

lies
...
hate...
...
loathing...

fear
Fear
FEAR
that if she
did it
"IT"
the big I-T
the scary thing
if she did...
the world would judge
and she would
fall


Once upon a time
there was a young woman
who moved past
all that
she "helped" anyone
she "helped"everyone
near or far
close enough &out of reach
it distract her
and nothing
changed
shadows morphed
music swelled
voices clamor
growing so LOUD
sleep. never. comes
awake

lies
...
hate...
...
loathing...

fear
Fear
FEAR
It's better to
not
be seen
ever, ever
never 
ever, ever
ever 
no
because...

Once upon a time
she grew older
a woman, I guess
she conquered it all
except... 
for that thing
she refused to notice
feel
      see
               touch
                                    allow near her
until she was tired
unless she was drunk  
depressed
alone

... alone ...

the darkness
encompassing
the voices
butchery
she lay dead
because it is
it is..
it

the fear...
...
part of her...
...
lies...
...
hate...
...
loathing...
...

too late.
it is
what it 
always was
how do you 
change?
how do you 
stop?
make it
stop.
Stop..
STOP...

Once upon a time
there was me
and I had to admit
to myself
what was wrong
and I had to 
move out of the
shadows
stop listening to 
the voices
and look myself
SQUARE
in the face.

I had to say:

SHUT UP!

Because the voice 
is my own
and the shadows
I created
and the fear
is unfounded
UNFOUNDED
mendaciously
created by weakness
failure to see
me
as 
me

and then I 
realize
that
once upon a time
hasn't even begun
...yet...




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